Coffee Percs

He crossed to the fire and squatted there, taking up the coffee-pot, blackened from many fires, to fill his cup.”
                 –Louis L’Amour (The Quick and the Dead)

    Gather in here ’round the table.  The wife reminded me of a song for us to sing, so let’s get to it.  Let’s just “Yippi-yi your troubles away…”  What’s the matter, don’t know it?  Oh, it’s my singin’ that bothers yuh.  I see, yuh don’t won’t yur liver to get all in a stew.  Listen, I’ve heard myself sing, and to my a-thinkin’ I’m not half bad.  Guess that means I’m not half good, and I don’t go ’round cuttin’ loose in public.  How ’bout some coffee instead?  I’ve made it strong enough that it’ll coat yuh all the way down.
    So yur not gettin’ out much are yuh?  The missus and I went out for some grub the other day and I want yuh to know I never seen the like.  I couldn’t tell the good guys from the banditos.  Yuh had to get close and fix yur eyeballs close to theirs, but then some hollered “social distancin’!”  Mercy, I don’t want to get close to them yahoos nohow.  I did spy one fellow slippin’ by down an aisle.  I asked someone who that masked man was and they just shrugged their shoulders.  I did notice he was packin’ two guns and what looked like silver bullets in his gunbelt.
    How’s the coffee today?  Hard to beat good coffee, that’s for sure.  I helped put another one of the good ones under the sod yesterday.  The mother of some of my former students passed on through the portals of glory and I had the honor of sayin’ a few words over her and to the family.  Sure hopin’ some of these younguns get themselves straightened out and heedin’ the advice of their elders.  ‘Course us older folk need to be teachin’ them straight from the Bible with no gee-hawin’.  
    Say, how’d yuh get that knot alongside yur head?  Yuh didn’t forget to check yur cinch did yuh?  Somethin’ about yur boots.  Yuh better not be scratchin’ up my wife’s floor with yur spurs.  Oh, yuh took a lick to yur noggin’ ’cause yuh tracked mud in the kitchen.  That’s not good, that’s right up there with not checkin’ yur cinch.  Sure prayin’ the good Lord walks close beside yuh this week.

Coffee Percs

When I had eaten the bacon I sat back with a cup of coffee in my hand, leaning against the trunk of a ponderosa, and studied my situation.”
              –Louis L’Amour  (Passin’ Through)

In the graylight of the mornin’ it is very still, with only a few birds chirpin’ as I’m sittin’ on my back deck, coffee in hand, waitin’ for yuh to show up, Pard.  Just spendin’ some time ponderin’ while waitin’.  Pard, yuh ever stop to wonder how much time we spend just waitin’? Guess it helps teach us patience.
    I haven’t done too much a studyin’ on this here China virus.  I do know that it’s caused a lot of heehawin’ and of course the media has to have their hoorawin’ as well.  I’m looking out at the woods, lookin’ to see which trees around have the best leaves in case we run out of paper. Plenty of oak, gum, and maple, so I should be all right.
    Saw where a several of those young snips were smartin’ off again.  Yep, you guessed it Pard, the Millennials and Generation Z told the police that they were not goin’ to let the virus destroy their partyin’.  Besides bein’ obnoxious, arrogant, and selfish they represent a society that will be left behind when the Lord comes like a “thief in the night.”
    So, in the midst of all the uproar, I reckon I’ll just trust in the Lord and enjoy my coffee.  Doin’ some writin’ on a new novel.  Hmmm, from the looks of the pot, I’d say it’s time to brew up a new batch.
    You be safe an’ stay at home.  One thing that does for yuh, yuh won’t have to be a wonderin’ if’n yuh checked yur cinch or not.

Coffee Percs

Sudden like, the pot erupted spewing coffee from its spout.  He lifted it from the fire for a moment to let it settle some, then attached it back on the hook to boil a little longer.  After pouring a little water from his cup down the spout to help settle the grounds, he nodded at me.”
               –D.C. Adkisson (Trouble at Gregory Gulch)

“I’ve got the corooonaavirus blues…”  Oh, sorry, Pard, didn’t notice yuh standin’ at the door.  Yuh want to know what that howlin’ was?  That was just me singin’ the blues–the coronavirus blues.  No use bein’ down in the jaws over it, don’t want to be steppin’ on my lower lip.
    Coffee’s ready, set yurself down an’ I’ll bring yuh a cup.  Did I wash my hands?  Now don’t yuh get to irritatin’ me.  Talk about irritatin’… did yuh see where smart-alek kids are goin’ through the produce section in stores and spittin’ on the food?  Someone needs to grab holt of them and dab some of that superglue on their lips, that will shore ‘nough stop their spittin’, but reckon that wouldn’t work as they’d have to snort their food through their nose.  There’s enough fear out there that stupidity don’t need to be tossed on top of it.
    Coffee’s good, the Lord is watchin’ over us, and with the storm yesterday, I found that the roof don’t leak.  Listen – the Lord expects us to be people of faith and common sense.  We aren’t to by hyper/super spiritual, and we don’t run ’round like the infamous “Chicken Little.”
Read Proverbs to find out what a fool is, then look at the news and yu’ll see plenty of them actin’ and spoutin’ out their nonsense.
    ‘Bout time to head back out to that cruel world.  Keep yur distance from folk out there, especially the fools.  And don’t become one yurself by not checkin’ yur cinch.

Coffee Percs

I sat there listening and drinking bad coffee.  It was hot, but it could have been much stronger for my taste, needed to boil longer.”
              –D.C. Adkisson  (Trouble at Gregory Gulch)

Come in, Pard, and sit yurself down.  Say, I had one of those ol’ codgers I used to hang with in San Antonio come by to share some coffee.  Ol’ Mac warned me that he just might show up some day for a cup of coffee an’ shore enough, he did.  It was a grand time, we chewed us up plenty of fat, an’ guzzled a pot of coffee.
    I wrote in my last book about Elias havin’ to suffer through drinkin’ some bad coffee.  Well, methinks that this hooey or hype, whichever yuh prefer, ’bout the virus that is a pandemic is like bad coffee.  If he wasn’t in polite company he might have spewn it out of his mouth.  Yes, there is a little coffee flavor, and it’s hot, but that’s all.  Calling this a pandemic–hmmm, the flu of 1919 was a pandemic killing around 70 million.  Now if you want to fret and panic go right ahead, if’n yuh run out of toilet paper corn is on the market and the trees are startin’ to get their leaves (but watch out–leave those poison ivy leaves alone).
    Say, yuh remember Y2K?  How ‘ bout the H1N1 virus under Obama in which 12,469 died in the U.S.?  Oh, yuh do recall Y2K, but not the other virus.  Hmmm, funny how the media controls information.  We live in unsettlin’ times, but the Lord will take care of us.
    Pard, yuh better be ready for church on Sunday, that is if yur state is allowin’ yuh to have services.  Fact of the matter is that our church will not be openin’ its doors.  Another sneaky way of shuttin’ down the church, but besides that there is some of that weak coffee goin’ on.  I saw somethin on facebook about the correct and incorrect way of greetin’ people at church.  Some are callin’ it “No-Touchin’ Sunday.”  My mercy, what next?
What about the layin’ on of hands that Paul admonishes?  Oh well…hysteria reigns.
    Pard, yuh just be careful where yuh go, what yuh handle, and who yuh touch.  ‘Course we should be doin’ that anyway.  Mind you, it’s sorta like checkin’ yur cinch.  Most of all…be trustin’ in the Lord!  He’s got everything under control.