Coffee Percs

On the way back to the kitchen, he replaced the shotgun on the rack in the hall.  In the kitchen, the coffee was hot and ready on the stove.  He took two blue enamel cups from the shelf on the wall and filled them with the streaming black brew.”
              –C. Wayne Winkle (Frank Bannon–The Fixer)

    I heard yur hoss, so I poured a cup for ya.  Using that Black Gold from Folgers this mornin’, ahhh, sure delightful.  I’m a little picky about my coffee as you know.  I not one of those coffee snobs that can only drink certain types of coffee and in a certain way.  Reckon my biggest complaint is that it’s usually not strong enough.  I like to taste the coffee not just some flavored water.
    Yep, I understand the thinkin’ of the person in the quote.  The shotgun’s handy, and pistol if needed.  There are crazy things now, yuh think, ha, it’s just gettin’ started.  How about that young whippersnapper who thinks that small churches are a problem and that we should “unhitch” from the Old Testament?  Now, he is supposedly more enlightened that we are, at least this ol’ fence post, and it is done in the name of being progressive.  What about the Scripture in the New Testament that states that ALL Scripture is inspired?  Ptui on progressive! That’s heresy.
    Drink it down pard, for I’m just gettin’ started this mornin’.  There’s another one of those progressive hot-shots who says that he don’t think we can be governed by the Constitution; it’s just too old.  Ask him how to fix things, and he just haws around without an answer, but we need to get rid of the Constitution.  He’s just one of those bureaucrats up in Washington.  Then that other jasper who is goin’ to run for President, whose mother says that the defenders of the Alamo were only a bunch of drunks and crooks.  
    Gotta settle down, let me finish this cup, ‘fore I get too riled.  Problem really is that the Old Testament and the Constitution doesn’t fit these progressive folks agenda.  Listen, no matter what, truth is truth!  
    Say, I met with my new publisher.  He seems like one of us ol’ codgers who realize the value of writing a good story and not getting “progressive” with it.  If yuh are looking for my first book, the title has changed to “The Journal of Elias Butler.”
    Yeah, I know, yuh gotta be headin’ on down the road.  Yuh ride easy, now ya hear?  Check that cinch, and keep yur gun oiled and ready.  Sure to be readin’ the Bible, includin’ the Old Testament.