Coffee Percs

After she poured it I reached for the handle on the cup and took a sip.  It was almost like syrup and very bitter.  Probably the worst coffee I’d ever tasted, but better than no coffee.”
              –D.C. Adkisson  (The Evil Eye)

Take a swig of that coffee, Pard.  Nothin’ wrong with it.  Sure hits the spot this mornin’, or any time of day for that matter.  Listen, I’ve heard they’re after our ol’ ridin’ companion–the Duke.  Yep, even though he ain’t amongst the livin’ any more and can’t defend himself, they’re doin’ what they did to ol’ John Wycliffe–they’re diggin’ up his bones to burn them.  Seems he made a statement in an interview against what he termed as “fags.”  He said movies aren’t worth takin’ the family to as they’re not God-fearin’.
    I guess he used an indelicate word; a word that today would hurt the ears of the snowflakes out there that have to find somethin’ to whine and whimper about.  That’s more bitter than the worst coffee I’ve tasted.  Listen pard, and listen tight, when that there next election comes up there’s goin’ be some major trouble in store.  Yuh best be ready; well, I’m just a-sayin’.
    Speaking of coffee, yur cup’s down to the empty line.  Here yuh go, I’ll fill it right up.  Wishin’ that we could share a piece of pie, but the missus will be up soon and will be doin’ some bakin’.  Not pie, mind yuh, but a cake for the baby daughter’s birthday.  Back to coffee.  Yuh know muh feelin’s ’bout “cinos.”  I heard some fella the other day, yesterday in fact, say that a cappuccino was some type of monkey in Madagascar.  Ha ha, yep, pard, he’s got that right!
    More than ever, pard, we need to be walkin’ with the Lord.  No departin’ from His Word, that’s for sure no matter what the snow-flakes think, and how much the creampuffs whine.  Stay true and steady!  Keep yourself ready and alert–remember that ol’ St. Pete said that the devil is out there waitin’, lurkin’, seekin’, to devour the unawares.
    One way to help yurself is tuh be sure an’ check yur cinch.  Pard, that means spiritual as well as physical.