Coffee Percs

He pulled on his gloves, wrapped them around the mug of piping-hot java and tipped a mouthful down.  The black liquid felt good on his innards and went a long way in warming him.  He finished the drink with a further two long gulps.”
              –Mike Strotter (McKinney’s Revenge)

How long, Pard?  Just how long do we put up with nonsense and stupidity comin’ from some quarters in Washington?  Sorry, Pard, sometimes things just jerk my jaws.  Why, I haven’t even poured yur coffee yet, and here I am a-rantin’.  Those ignoramuses, Tlaib and Omar, they don’t have the sense God gave a goat and they are jowlin’ about a terrorist bein’ killed.  Said the President don’t have the power to declare war.  Well, they’re right about that, but he didn’t declare war, just took out a very evil man who wants to harm our country.
    Slow me down, Pard.  Ahhh, breath deeply and take a long sip.  My ol’ gizzard has been riled for a few days, an’ it wasn’t even over this.  I read from time to time on that tabloid–Facebook–of people sayin’ how hard it is to be an adult.  My mercy, if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a whiner.  I read of someone postin’ that it was hard to be an adult, they’re in the young twenties.  But to make it worse, a middle-age, Christian teacher replied that, Yes adulthood is so hard.” Where is the Lord in their lives?
    But it was comin’ and we let it.  Givin’ everyone trophies.  Sayin’ “good job”, or “good play” on everything.  We’ve done away with manhood.  In fact, a man’s man is to be scorned or mocked today.  Yur right, Pard, I need to simmer myself down.  Another cup, then I’ll get the pot a perkin’ again.
    One other thing, you stay ready!  I’m not just talkin’ ’bout checkin’ yur cinch ‘fore yuh mount up, I’m talkin’ about the fact that the Lord is soon comin’.