Coffee Percs

I sat there listening and drinking bad coffee.  It was hot, but it could have been much stronger for my taste, needed to boil longer.”
              –D.C. Adkisson  (Trouble at Gregory Gulch)

Come in, Pard, and sit yurself down.  Say, I had one of those ol’ codgers I used to hang with in San Antonio come by to share some coffee.  Ol’ Mac warned me that he just might show up some day for a cup of coffee an’ shore enough, he did.  It was a grand time, we chewed us up plenty of fat, an’ guzzled a pot of coffee.
    I wrote in my last book about Elias havin’ to suffer through drinkin’ some bad coffee.  Well, methinks that this hooey or hype, whichever yuh prefer, ’bout the virus that is a pandemic is like bad coffee.  If he wasn’t in polite company he might have spewn it out of his mouth.  Yes, there is a little coffee flavor, and it’s hot, but that’s all.  Calling this a pandemic–hmmm, the flu of 1919 was a pandemic killing around 70 million.  Now if you want to fret and panic go right ahead, if’n yuh run out of toilet paper corn is on the market and the trees are startin’ to get their leaves (but watch out–leave those poison ivy leaves alone).
    Say, yuh remember Y2K?  How ‘ bout the H1N1 virus under Obama in which 12,469 died in the U.S.?  Oh, yuh do recall Y2K, but not the other virus.  Hmmm, funny how the media controls information.  We live in unsettlin’ times, but the Lord will take care of us.
    Pard, yuh better be ready for church on Sunday, that is if yur state is allowin’ yuh to have services.  Fact of the matter is that our church will not be openin’ its doors.  Another sneaky way of shuttin’ down the church, but besides that there is some of that weak coffee goin’ on.  I saw somethin on facebook about the correct and incorrect way of greetin’ people at church.  Some are callin’ it “No-Touchin’ Sunday.”  My mercy, what next?
What about the layin’ on of hands that Paul admonishes?  Oh well…hysteria reigns.
    Pard, yuh just be careful where yuh go, what yuh handle, and who yuh touch.  ‘Course we should be doin’ that anyway.  Mind you, it’s sorta like checkin’ yur cinch.  Most of all…be trustin’ in the Lord!  He’s got everything under control.