He crossed to the fire and squatted there, taking up the coffee-pot, blackened from many fires, to fill his cup.”
–Louis L’Amour (The Quick and the Dead)
Gather in here ’round the table. The wife reminded me of a song for us to sing, so let’s get to it. Let’s just “Yippi-yi your troubles away…” What’s the matter, don’t know it? Oh, it’s my singin’ that bothers yuh. I see, yuh don’t won’t yur liver to get all in a stew. Listen, I’ve heard myself sing, and to my a-thinkin’ I’m not half bad. Guess that means I’m not half good, and I don’t go ’round cuttin’ loose in public. How ’bout some coffee instead? I’ve made it strong enough that it’ll coat yuh all the way down.
So yur not gettin’ out much are yuh? The missus and I went out for some grub the other day and I want yuh to know I never seen the like. I couldn’t tell the good guys from the banditos. Yuh had to get close and fix yur eyeballs close to theirs, but then some hollered “social distancin’!” Mercy, I don’t want to get close to them yahoos nohow. I did spy one fellow slippin’ by down an aisle. I asked someone who that masked man was and they just shrugged their shoulders. I did notice he was packin’ two guns and what looked like silver bullets in his gunbelt.
How’s the coffee today? Hard to beat good coffee, that’s for sure. I helped put another one of the good ones under the sod yesterday. The mother of some of my former students passed on through the portals of glory and I had the honor of sayin’ a few words over her and to the family. Sure hopin’ some of these younguns get themselves straightened out and heedin’ the advice of their elders. ‘Course us older folk need to be teachin’ them straight from the Bible with no gee-hawin’.
Say, how’d yuh get that knot alongside yur head? Yuh didn’t forget to check yur cinch did yuh? Somethin’ about yur boots. Yuh better not be scratchin’ up my wife’s floor with yur spurs. Oh, yuh took a lick to yur noggin’ ’cause yuh tracked mud in the kitchen. That’s not good, that’s right up there with not checkin’ yur cinch. Sure prayin’ the good Lord walks close beside yuh this week.