It had to be better than what the Coosie made on the trail. His brew dissolved my spoon.”
–Duane Boehm (Sun Over the Mountains)
“Well, come along boys, and listen to my tale. I’ll tell yuh of muh troubles…” Pard! Yuh done snuck up on me. I was just singin’ along, havin’ me a good ol’ time watchin’ the coffee brew and waitin’ for yuh to show up. Sit yurself right down here, I’ll be gettin’ yuh a cup. Nah, don’t yuh be worryin’ none. Here, take a look at my spoon–all in one piece. My coffee’ll fix up yur innards, get yuh ready for the day an’ any troubles that may come along the way.
Don’t want to be goin’ on long about the mess we’re findin’ ourselves in. The “wokes” sure are doin’ this country in. They think they’re smart, why ptui. Heard a ol’ feller talkin’ to a couple of them brilliant, enlightened people they call “IT”. Whatever that means, something to do with this newfangled technology. But he was tellin’ them that in the olden days when they shipped cows to market they’d count them by makin’ knots in a rope. He’s right, I’ve seen it done myself. One of them smart-alek youngsters went an’ smarted off sayin’ today they use cow-culators. Phooey.
I see yur smilin’. That’s some serious coffee, ahh, soothes yuh right down to yur toenails. But Pard, seriously, that ol’ boy Daniel, yuh know the prophet. He told of a time right after he was told to seal up the book of his visions until the end. Pard, I’m thinkin’ that we’re at the end, and that ain’t all–he said that folk would be runnin’ to and fro and that knowledge will increase. My mercy Pard, all a person has to do today is use that Google or YouTube and they think they know it all. Phooey–they don’t know the half of it, and most don’t know nothin’ when it comes right down to it. That other fella, Paul went and told them straight out that they would think they were somethin’ special, know-it-alls, but in reality they would become fools. Well let me tell yuh that right now, this very moment, the country is full of them there fools!
Pard, there’s a little left in the pot. What say we finish it up an’ then yuh can be on yur way. But before yuh go guzzlin’ that last swaller or two let me tell yuh something true and for a fact. You and me are smarter than the bunch of them. We know the Lord, an’ we’re expectin’ Him to be showin’ up any day now. We just keep pluggin’ along, tryin’ not to hurt our heads from shakin’ it too much at them woke folk. We do the chores of the day, and when we mount up we check our cinch, we keep our guns clean, and read our Bible. Now, that’s bein’ smart.
Vaya con Dios.