Coffee Percs

I melted snow water in a lard pail.  I don’t think hot coffee ever hit the spot more than it did on that night of the Arctic blizzard.”
–Richard P. Hobson, Jr.

Mornin’ to yuh, get in this house, for I’ve the coffee on.  It’s hot and strong this mornin’ jist what yuh need to get yur gizzard juices flowin’ an’ on with the day.  No, it’s not snow, but I’ve made coffee from the snow before.  An’ for sure I ain’t usin’ that raw water; mine came from the tap this mornin’.
You’ve heard about that, ain’t yuh?  The millennials, the more enlightened folk among us have proclaimed that we should stop drinkin’ bottled water, an’ stop drinkin’ tap water and drink what they’re callin’ “raw water.”  In other words, water from the streams and lakes.  They’re bottlin’ it up and sellin’ the stuff.  Let’s see, hmmm, typhoid, malaria, diphtheria, dysentery, cholera, and a host of parasites that’ll eat yur insides and brain.  I don’t care how strong I make my coffee, it can’t ward off those invisible bugs.  Real bright folk…go figure, most of them are from California.
A little history lesson that the highest percentage of folk that died on the Oregon Trail, and that number is way up in the thousands, died from the cause of “raw water.”  They died from cholera.  When was the last time we had a cholera epidemic?
‘Nother cup, my pard, yuh sure drowned that one fast.  Comin’ right up.  Yuh ready for the stupidity and absurdity of the new year?  Already startin’, but let me tell you, by November it’ll get worse.  You jist be sure that yur gun is handy an’ yur Bible is bein’ read.  Lot’s of crazy things are already happenin’ and will continue.
But, besides all that, another year is here.  One thing that keeps goin’ through my mind are the words of Paul, “Redeem the time, for the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:16)  Pard, as we travel through this ol’ world keep in mind we’re jist pilgrims headin’ for that heavenly city.  An’ as we move we should be leavin’ tracks for our kinfolk and friends to follow.  We surely need to be showin’ them the way.
Say, that pot went quick.  I only had four cups, you must have been guzzlin’.  Guess where yuh get yur coffee it’s diluted, but watch out, don’t be fooled by any of that “raw water.”  The name is absurd as well.
Tighten that cinch, yeehaw, we’re ready for 2018!