Coffee Percs

He walked over to the stove and poured them two cups of coffee.  Steam drifted up from the tin cups, the smell of fresh coffee perfuming the air around him.  He walked back over to the small table and handed the cup of steaming goodness.”
              –M. Allen (The Rifleman)

The coffee’s pipin’ hot, get in here and sit yurself down, pard.  Yur all in one piece so I reckon yuh had a good week.  We’ve been workin’ steady at gettin’ the new homestead all up and runnin’.  Takes time, with the bones achin’ a body just doesn’t get as fast as he did back in the day.
    Ahhh, that’s good coffee this mornin’.  Sure enjoy havin’ yuh come ’round; some folk are just good company.  Let me tell you a story.  When we would go campin’ we used little plastic containers for items such as: salt, pepper, chili powder, etc.  Well, I decided that it was time to fix up some chili; get that aroma into the walls of the new place as soon as possible.  I had my fixin’s out and was brownin’ the meat.  Of course it needed salt so I saw on the butcher block a small plastic container.  Opening the lid, I started sprinkling “salt” on the meat.  Pard, let me tell yuh, right here, something didn’t look right.  Very carefully, I reached into the skillet and pulled out a piece of meat, tasted it, and quickly spat it out.  Soap!  I had covered my meat in soap.  That sure made me feel like a dummy!  Had to throw out a skillet full of meat.  On the positive side, sure was glad I caught it before I had the rest of the fixin’s stewin’ in it.  Imagine, sittin’ down to the table, takin’ my spoon for a nice, hot bite of chili and tastin’ soap.  One way to clean yur innards out.
    ‘Nother cup, sure ‘nough pard.  We’ll drain this pot before yuh mount up to leave.  But, let me tell yuh, it got me to ponderin’.  I’ve been around folk like that.  They tend to look like the real thing.  They seem to have the right container, they look like the real stuff, but put them to the test, ha, or should I say the taste, and they leave a funny taste in yur mouth.  Yuh find out that they are the seasonin’ that was needed, and yu’ll have to throw away anything they touched.  They’re the kind of folk that think they are good for anythin’ but there is a purpose for soap, and it’s sure not for seasonin’ meat that is there to bring nutrition to the body and soul.
    My mercy, where has the time gone?  Where has the coffee gone?  Guess, we done whipped that pot.  Guess yuh better be gettin’ on yur way and gettin’ yur chores done.  Check that cinch, don’t want yuh fallin’ off somewhere down the road.