Coffee Percs

Her husband was sawing out the winter’s wood from a huge fir windfall; she carried a jug of coffee for him and the two of them sat on the log, alternately taking turns at the jug.”
              –Ernest Haycox  (Canyon Passage)

Mornin’ to yuh, Pard.  It’s upon us, reckon yuh know what that is.  Yuh don’t?  My, in what world do yuh live?  Maybe if’n I fill yur cup up first yuh can think better.  Try again.  Yep, the first day of the last month of the year.  See, all it took was a guzzle of hot coffee to get that pea-brain of yurn a-rattlin’.
    Lord help us in the comin’ year.  I’ve seen some of the stuff that new hare-brained Congresswoman from New York has said.  Guess she’ll keep us laughin’ some in the new year, but it’s a fearful thing to have someone like that makin’ our laws.  What is even more frightenin’ is the fact that there are folks out there who elected her.  My, my….that sure calls for a finish to this cup, go ‘head, I’ve got the pot right here and I’ll fill it back up, quick like.
    I was readin’ what ol’ St. Pete said in the Holy Writ, in chapter 3.  That’s a chapter that should sober any person right up.  All the Lord is waitin’ for before He comes back is that last person to accept Him.  Why, pard, that could be any day.  An’ he goes on further to say it will come like a thief in the night.  Don’ fret yurself, I’m not goin’ to start preachyfyin’ but it caught my attention.  
    This is the time, the month for nostalgia.  More coffee?  My mercy, pard, yur gizzard is sure empty this mornin’.  Back to nostalgia.  We’ll take the time to think of Christmases past, but don’t yuh lose sight of this Christmas.  Why ‘ccordin’ to St. Pete it could be our last on earth.  It all starts off fer me on this day.  Pard, this is my Mom’s and Aunt Bern’s birthday.  Let’s see, if I do muh figurin’ right Mom would have been, my mercy, this is her centennial–100.  Bern would have been 95.  But they’re both passed over the Great Divide, enjoyin’ things better than we can even imagine any Christmas could be.
    Remember, there’s plenty of nuts out there; think of those who elected some of the folk.  That’ll catch yur attention.  So, stay focused, keep yur gun oiled and ready, yur Bible close by and read, and for mercy goodness don’t forget to check yur cinch!