–Elmer Kelton  (The Good Old Boys)

 

Pard, there’s some truth in that sayin’ above.  I heard an ol’ boy say the other day that folks often get so busy with life and the toils of life that they forget to live.  Hmpf, I see yuh made yurself at home, grabbed a cup, an’ filled it from the pot.  Well, that’s what it’s there for.  But what I’m a-sayin’ is that life is meant to be lived an’ enjoyed as the good Lord intended.  Sure there’s bad spots, but just like travelin’ down the road, there’s good, smooth roads, but then once in a while a pothole is there an’ sometimes it jist can’t be avoided.

     Go ‘head drink up; that’s good coffee.  Now as good as coffee is, an’ as much as I enjoy it, I’ve had some bad coffee in my day an’ I’m not talkin’ ’bout cinos.  Whooee, let me tell yuh, I have had some coffee so weak it would best be used as dishwater an’ I’ve had it scorched–burnt and thick.  I sure do like my coffee strong, but I’m not carin’ much for scorched coffee.

     Folks go ’round life sorta the same way.  They either don’t enjoy it, they live it weekly (pun intended).  Others are jist plain ol’ sourpusses, while some jist want to have an excuse to git their gizzard all riled up.  I figure that some folks are happy unless life treats them bitter and they show their happiness by bein’ grumpy or loud or obnoxious.

     Pard, it’s only been ten days into the New Year and I’ll tell yuh, there’s a lot of stuff goin’ on, much of it is downright stupidity.  Besides that new mayor of New York City, and few other scoundrels around the country I read that the governor of New York declared January Muslim American Heritage Month.  My mercy!  One of the audacious things she’s done is to illuminate green on Friday night the World Trade Center lights to celebrate Muslim culture.  Talk ’bout a slap in the face.  Then there’s those Somalis who are claimin’ that the Foundin’ Fathers were of Somali descent.  Sometime’s Pard, all I can do is shake my head.  Sorta of like drinkin’ scorched coffee.

     Well, Pard, I’m not goin’ to be a-steppin’ on my lower lip.  Get yur cloggin’ boots on an’ join me since we’re in the kitchen.  “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, down in my heart.”  Come on Pard, or are yuh a-waitin’ for the next verse.  Well, let’s get it goin’, hold tight to yur cup, yuh don’t want to spill any coffee on the floor.  “If the devil doesn’t like it, he can sit on a tack, sit on a tack, sit on a tack.”  Yeehaw, the joy of the Lord is our strength.  Yuh be havin’ a good week, don’t take any wooden nickels, and be a-checkin’ yur cinch.

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –Robert Peecher  (The Glorieta Grudge)

 

Yippi-ki-yay, 2026 is well on the way.  Pard, yuh made it through 2025 with only a few knots to yur noggin.  Now we continue onward on the road to glory–yeehaw!  Don’t yuh be frettin’ none Pard, I’ve plenty of coffee an’ even though the prices are goin’ up I’ll keep the larder filled.  Only thing though, yuh have to make one of them thar resolutions–no cinos!

      I was sittin’ the other mornin’ in my mornin’ chair, readin’, lookin’ out the window watching gray light appear, contemplatin’ an’ drinkin’ my coffee when a thought hit me.  AD, 

“Anno Domini.”  Yuh got that?  2026 is the year of our Lord!  As was 2025 and every year before until He comes to earth to reign.  The year of our Lord–I like that.  Know this, Pard, that even if’n yuh drink one of them cinos the Lord is with yuh.  He is there–always, all the time, and we needn’t fret about Him a-leavin’ us.  He is the faithful God!

     An ol’ friend of mine brought to my remembrance a song by that wrangler, Stuart Hamblen.  Let’s ponder on them some, I’ll refill yur cup an’ yuh can be a sippin’.  Am I gonna sing it?  Well, I might hum along.  But here goes, “Known only to Him are the great hidden secrets.”  Wow!  Right there is a whole bundle to try to wrap yur mind around.  Believe that an’ if’n yur like me, “I’ll fear not the darkness when my flame shall dim.  I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future, It’s a secret known only to Him.”  Whooeee!

Grab hold of that!  Hang on, the Lord is right there with yuh, just like He was back in 2025.

     It’s just like ridin’ along the trail, goin’ upward on a mountain slope.  Yuh can only see what’s in front of yuh, yuh can’t see ’round the bend.  Why thar might be a heap o’ trouble waitin’ for yuh.  But yuh don’t have to be frettin’ none.  Now, that don’t mean yuh don’t take precautions, yuh don’t get yurself prepared for the trail.  No, we are to walk not ignorant of the snares, and traps, and obstacles, and hostiles that may be along our way, but we do know that the Lord is right there with us.  Yuh know, I think He is walkin’ alongside us with a smile.

     We travel in 2026, careful, tall in the saddle, ready as we can be.  We’ve got our Bible, our gun, we’ve checked our cinch, there’s plenty of coffee.  Now ride, cowboy, ride fer 2026 is waitin’ for us.

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –Laura Ingalls Wilder  (The Long Winter)

 

Mornin’ to yuh, Pard.  Yep, coffee’s ready and waitin’ for yuh.  Been expectin’ yuh to show up.  Goin’ to be a grand day and week.  Soon as yuh leave, the missus and I are headin’ over to the youngest daughter’s house for a birthday celebration.  Her husband is gettin’ up in years, an’ we need to be headin’ his way.  Shore don’t want him to be throwin’ a hip out of joint celebration’; someone needs to be there to keep him in line.  He’s gettin’ up there in age to be called a young, ol’ codger.

     The quotation above reminded me of our traditional Christmas breakfast.  I’m already lookin’ forward to it.  Plenty of bacon and either beignets or donuts do go along with it.  We started the beignets when we lived down in bayou country, Baton Rouge to be exact.  Probably some cranberry bread along with other Christmas fixin’s.  It’s almost better than Christmas dinner.

     A couple of things I want to say to yuh, Pard.  First, in this evil, wicked, and sinful world, remember that is the reason for Jesus to come to this earth.  He came, not to rid the earth of evil, but to offer a solution–one for all of eternity, and Pard, let me tell yuh, if’n yuh don’t know, that is a long time.  The Gift is given, so all folks have to do is reach out, repent, and accept it.  My what an easy thing to do.  Easier than I’ve seen some folk try to unwrap a present.  My jackknife is always in use on Christmas.

     The second thing is that in the midst of yur celebratin’ and it’s alright to be doin’ that, don’t forget that Christmas should also be a solemn occasion.  Take a moment an’ think along with me.  Eve was deceived, but sin came when Adam ate.  That ‘Postle of old, Paul wrote, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.” (Romans 5:12, ESV).  God placed a curse on both Adam and Eve, but did yuh notice that the promise will come through Eve.  It will be her seed that the Messiah, Jesus our Savior would come.  It seems that the spiritual DNA is carried through the man.  It would be the seed of the woman that would bruise the serpent’s head.  Just wrap yur noggin’ ’round that thought.  Then we hear the angels tellin’ those mutton-punchers, “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.”  From the womb of Mary–the woman, came the birth of our Lord.  Amazin’, simply amazin’ if’n yuh ask me.

     So again, have loads of fun, but take time to ponder an’ contemplate the meanin’ an’ the significance of this wondrous event.  And in the midst of all the fun, hubbub, hustle and bustle, and gobblin’ down the goodies and pies and cookies, and turkey that when yuh go out in the cold that yuh don’t forget to be checkin’ yur cinch.  Shore wouldn’t be a good way to end the year.  So Pard, an’ to all, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

    Vaya con Dios.

                    –Vivian Sinclair  (A Western Christmas)

Pard, come in this kitchen an’ tell me it ain’t true.  Give me the low down, I can handle it, but let me put the pot back on the stove and sit myself down first.  Did I hear right, yuh partook of some eggnog cino?  Oh mercy me, tell me it ain’t so.  What do yuh mean, it was only a little sip?  A little sip of cyanide would be as bad.  Pard, yuh come along way, an’ then yuh up and do this.  Yur not goin’ over to the cino crowd are yuh?  Those yuppies who prance around tip-toein’ through life not realizin’ that life is a battle, a fight, an’ yuh have to be ready to face it, not be drinkin’ eggnog cinos.

     Here, take this cup, it’ll wash down that cravin’ and get yuh back on the right track.  Good strong, black coffee, just the way that nature intended.  Wish I had some camp coffee, that would make it even better.  Pard, I’m glad it was only a sip.  But a sip here, a sip there and soon yur a-sippin’ all the time.  And if’n yur-a doin’ that, well, it means yur no longer just sippin’ but guzzlin’.

     Pard, yuh start with one slip then yuh’ll soon be dyin’ yur hair blue or chartreuse.   If’n yuh don’t watch out, yuh’ll become like the rest of what that ol’ puncher Rhodes called 
“rhomboidinaltitudinous isosohedronal catawampus!”  Now that’s sayin’ somethin’ an’ it’s a mouthful, but it’s a-describin’ some of them vomit-spewin’ liberals.  I don’t want yuh to be like what someone wrote about those liberals who can’t identify a woman, a criminal, a peaceful protest, dementia, or which bathroom to use, but they can identify a fishing boat when they see one.  Listen Pard, the world is confused enough to not be drinkin’ any concocption such as eggnog cino.  Why, Pard, that’ll make yuh forget to check yur cinch, and I’ll go out an’ find yuh a-lyin’ in the mud somewhere’s.

     Keep goin’ straight, upward an’ onward.  Don’t be lettin’ the ol’ world be teasin’ yuh with their spew but ride straight and true.  Keep to the words of the Good Book, and don’t falter in yur faith.  Let me be tellin’ yuh, the Lord is comin’ soon.  Yuh stay alert, ready, and watch not only the trail, but the skies for His return.  Now come, next week, I don’t to be hearin’ yuh tell me that yuh had eggnog cino.  If’n yuh want to drink straight eggnog that’s one thing, but don’t be a-mixin’ it with the true elixir.  An’ I don’t want to be hearin’ that someone had to be pickin’ yuh up ’cause yuh didn’t check yur cinch.  See, this life is rough at times, and we must be alert and doin’ right.

      Vaya con Dios.