–Elmer Kelton (Captain’s Rangers)

 

     Come on in, Pard.  Yep, yuh caught me shakin’ my head.  Pard, just how fruity can these fruitloops get?  My land, they’ve put a whole new spin on the ol’ Sage Solomon’s words, “There is a time for everything.”  I was watchin’ a clip from that cowboy blogger, Chad Prather, and on it was this “wonder” sayin’ that “queer and trans people actually experience time completely differently from cis-het people?  It’s a concept called queer temporality.”  Oh, an’ I had to google what in the world is “cis-het”.

     Oh man, sorry Pard, I didn’t mean for yuh to spurt out a mouthful of coffee.  No worry, it’ll clean, there’s no varnish on that table to be worryin’ about.  But I understand…  Do folks sit around dreamin’ these things up, or do they eat enchanted mushrooms to illuminate what little brains they have?  Pard, there’s still a drop on yur chin…

     More an’ more I see what Paul meant when he said that the Lord will send a great delusion.  Why, half the folks now are in that stage; it wouldn’t take much more to push them on over into never-never land, or maybe it should be wonder-wonder land, the land that time forgot.  Yuh think it’s bad now with all the nonsense and foolishness and chicanery, it’s hard to imagine what it will be like after the saints are taken on up to glory.

     Ahh, good coffee, an’ see I didn’t spill a drop.  Don’t know if yuh look at social media much, but I see more an’ more junk regarding new and/or personal interpretation of the Bible.  Woe, that is dangerous pard.  That’s like sleepin’ next to an ol’ rattler hopin’ yuh won’t roll over on him in the night.   Those folks are addin’ to the visions and dream, and what the Spirit has already laid out for us.  Mostly I think it’s ’cause they want to feel high and mighty ’bout themselves with their new revelations.  Why I saw where one preacher said that there needs to be a third testament.  One that fits our culture.  What she really meant one that fit her agenda and lifestyle and morals and ethics.

     Whooeee, ol’ Pecos Bill would have trouble ridin’ some of the lyin’ broncs out there.  Yuh know, I’ve been studyin’ Proverbs, and my oh my, there’ a lot in those words regarding the use of the mouth.  Liars and shysters…we know who their father is.  Yep, ol’ slewfoot hisownself.  Imagine wantin’ to have the devil as a father.  Goodness the extent fools will go to…

     Well, Pard, yuh be sure to speak the truth.  Do it with yur mouth and with yur life.  Yur actions speak loud, so watch what yuh be a-doin’.  Have yurself a week, remember it’s one the Lord has given yuh so be using it wisely and for His glory.  Yep, yur right, that includes checkin’ yur cinch.  Why some youngster may be a-watchin’ an’ if’n he sees a grown up not doin’ what’s right he might get some ideas of his own that ain’t plumb proper.

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –Elmer Kelton  (The Good Old Boys)

 

Get yurself in this kitchen, watch yur spurs though when yuh sit.  Coffee’s comin’ right up.  Take a taste an’ yu’ll find it’ll suit yur innards.  Strong, and tasty, but don’t yuh go to guzzlin’ it or yu’ll burn the hair off’n yur tongue.  Hope yuh had a good week, Pard.  Cayn’t have too many of them.  I see yur a-packin’, guess that’s to keep all the crazies away.

     Ahhh, that is good coffee.  

     Pard, I tries my best not to be watchin’ the fools, the bureaucrats, but onct in a while they catch my attention.  Listen, Pard, the Lord must be a-comin’ soon.  Things are a mess and the minds of folks are worse.  This clown runnin’ for senator in Texas.  My mercy, the way he’s a twistin’ the Holy Writ to fit his purpose and agenda.  Lord, have mercy…what ends some folks won’t go to.

     Since that COVID turmoil I’ve been noticin’ more and more the truth that the ol’ Apostle Paul wrote.  It was in 2 Thessalonians, if I recall right, where he writes that the Lord will send a powerful or strong delusion so that folks will believe the lie.  Deluded, crazy, livin’ in a fantasy world.  Pard, I went an’ looked up the meaning of delusion and what I found was a firm, fixed, and false belief that persists despite clear contradictory evidence.  They live in a fantasy world sorta like Peter Pan’s “Never Never Land.”  They think they have special gifts of knowledge or powers and woe to anyone who is contrary to them.  And anger, my mercy, anger just shows in their countenance.  Anger and hatred, an’ that ain’t good for the disposition, theirs or anyone around them.

     Take a good, deep swaller of that coffee yur a-holdin’ in yur paws.  Taste it, swirl some around in yur jaws.  That’ll take away any delusions yuh might have.  It’ll waken yuh up right quick.  See, Pard, what we need is a good dose of the Bible.  Get it in our mouth, swaller it, and let it work in our inner bein’.  Yuh look at those with delusions an’ yuh can see how easy it’ll be for that ol’ outlaw Satan to take over.  Worst part, folks will believe his lies.  Now they have the truth, and discard it, mock it, but one day soon, the Lord will let them believe the lie.  But get this Pard, it’s jist like yur empty cup.  Full for a while, then empty.  The Lord will allow him only so much rope, then He’ll rein him in, send ol’ slewfoot to the Bottomless Pit and his cohorts to the Lake of Fire.  Pard, an’ let me tell yuh, they won’t be livin’ in no delusion.

     So Pard, yuh right in the light of God’s Word.  Sit tall in the saddle, don’t be listenin’ to no false jabberin’ like we’re a-hearin’.  Keep yur gun oiled and ready, along with the Good Book.  Be wary, for there’s snares along the way, rattlers, hostiles, scorpion, and all sorts of things the devil will throw at yuh.  Lots to be careful of journeyin’ through this world, and on top of that yuh still need to be checkin’ yur cinch.  Don’t get lax in nothin’.

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –Ernest Haycox  (The Earthbreakers)

———————-

Whooee, Pard, it was dark this mornin’.  I wanted to linger in the bed, but knew that yu’d be over soon.  Out in the woods there was nary a light that I could see, not even the stars were shinin’ as I looked up through the trees.  Made me wonder, that dark gloomy day, that Saturday after the crucifixion when the body of Jesus was in the tomb, did the stars cast their light on the earth?  Perhaps it was overcast, overcast like the hearts of the followers of Jesus.

     Oh, let me pour yur coffee.  I don’t mean to be negligent, Pard.  Sometimes I get caught up in my thoughts.  Never had this particular brew before.  The middle granddaughter brought me coffee from her spring trip to Colorado, Delta I think it was.  Made it strong, as usual.  Ahhh, not too bad, not too bad atall.

     I was readin’ from ol’ Luke where he said that Jesus, “Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit.”  Look at that Pard–that is faith.  In His dyin’ He never wavered from His mission and His fellowship with the Father.  Pard, Jesus never doubted that He would rise again.  He didn’t much look forward to the agony and death, but after that, yuh might say it was a cinch He would win, defeat the grave and death, and rise again.

     But ol’ Peter, and the rest of the bunch were livin’ in a fearful time.  They had lost hope.  Somewhere along the line they must’ve got together again.  Maybe they came to wherever they were stayin’ one by one.  Perhaps there were a few of them huddled in there already, moaning, fearful as they saw their Hope die.  Yep, seems they had hope in death but not in the Master, at least not the eternal type of hope.  Not only was it dark that Saturday mornin’ it was dark down in their souls.

     Smell that brew, take a good taste, breathe deeply, then say “ahhh.”  Makes yuh feel good.  Pard, that Saturday was a bad day for the disciples.  But as ol’ preacher Lockeridge preached:  “Sunday’s comin’!”

     Let’s enjoy our coffee, ready for the dawnin’ of a new day.  We don’t live in forsaken hope, He is risen!  Hope is alive in our breast, and yuh better get yurself ready ’cause Jesus is comin’ back–soon.  There’s are new hope.  The death and resurrection are past–hallelujah!  Listen now for the hoofbeats.  Better have that spiritual cinch tight, ’cause Jesus is comin’ back just as He promised.

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –Luke Short  (First Campaign)

 

Mornin’ to yuh, Pard.  My mercy, another month done gone by.  Where does the time go?  What did I accomplish this month, or so far this year?  My, my, my…  Well, ‘fore we get on with this last Saturday of the month, let’s enjoy our mornin’ coffee together.  Ahhh, what a delight.  

     Pard, I’ve had a thought brewin’ in my mind all week, but first I saw somethin’ yesterday that brought the shivers to my innards.  My land, how crazy can people get?  Stupid, fools, insane, or just plain morons?  Here was the semi-growed man, I’d say in his mid-twenties to thirties, in a pigpen with a pig’s face coverin’ his an’ he’s oinkin’ and gruntin’ and slobberin’ like the other pigs in the pen.  He says he identifies as a pig?  Let that sink in.  Now, truly, I have seen some people in my time who look like pigs, and eat like pigs, but never one who has claimed to be a pig.  Makes me wonder if’n he’s there for supper ready for his slop or if’n he becomes human when it’s dinner-time?  

     Fellow, I follow once in a while, made a good observation.  If these fools, these morons, who claim they’re animals want to really be like them then they should go out into the wild and live.  The furries:  wolves, coyotes, gooses, bears, and now the hogs, they should go out and live like their wannabe counterparts.  Hmmm, think they’d make it?  They’ve heard the call of the wild, well, then, morons go out and join them.  But let me warn yuh, it gets cold out there, and your wannabe cousins have sharp teeth and they’d like nothin’ better than a stupid morsel of flesh to come their way.

     Go ahead, Pard, drink up, the pot’s not half-empty yet.  Now, to my main thought.  Tomorrow is Palm Sunday meanin’ that Easter is only a week away.  Ask folks what the first thing that comes to their mind on Easter an’ a good many of them would say, “eggs.”  They might add “peeps” or chocolate, and the real pious ones would say “church.”  What have we done to Easter?  It should be a somber time.  One of remembrance and rejoicing for it was the day that brought our redemption.  Yuh want to dye eggs, fine, no problem, but let’s keep it in perspective.  Do a little teachin’ on the subject of the egg and more importantly of the Christ who died and rose for us.

     ‘Nough said this mornin’.  Keep yur mind focused on the things of the Lord, enjoy life, but do it with proper perspective or yuh jist might wind up wallowin’ with that pig-man in the sty full of mud.  That’s worsen that yuh forgettin’ to check yur cinch.  That’s jist forgetfulness, the other is delusion.

     Vaya con Dios.