The coffee had boiled so long that it was a thick sludge when it drizzled into his cup. Just the way he liked it.”
–Lynnette Bonner (Songs in the Night)
I wanted the coffee to be extry strong this mornin’ for the things I’ve got t’ tell yuh. Sit yurself down, take a couple of long swallers so’s yur gizzard is fully awake and the stomach is coated for the bile that might come its way. First of all, glad yuh could make it over. That ol’ hoss of yurs must have canoes for feet or he can paddle like a duck. Whooee, have we had the rain.
But on to what I wants to tell yuh. Ready? Here goes, an’ this is almost quotin’ directly: There must be a reinterpretation of the Gospels to the Christian faith of God. It must be based on popular common sense. Who said it, yuh ask? Why the grand hoopla himself over in the Vatican–the pope. Now if that don’t gall yuh, and here’s somethin’ else–what is popular common sense? Must be speakin’ ’bout the Woke crowd, the progressives. Hmm, settin’ up the work for the False Prophet who will cheer on that evil man that is to come.
Now if’n that ain’t enough to rile yuh some, listen to this, happened last week. The United Methodist Church has changed its mind. It overturned overwhelmingly, the article said its ban on ordaining gay clergy. They will allow same-sex marriages in the church. Well, ain’t that enough to pop yur bubble gum! A bunch of church officials may change their minds but the Lord Almighty doesn’t change. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Mercy me, what if the good Lord was always changin’ His mind. Perhaps only every century or so. Why He might think that us poor ol’ fence posts might not be needed in the Millennium, and if’n yuh have too many knots on yur noggin’ yuh might no longer fit in.
With all this rain, yuh think we might at least run through our noggin’s the thought of the days of Noah. As it was in the days of Noah… Pard, oh, yuh need a refill of this thick sludge. Don’t blame yuh, drink all yuh want to settle down the bile. Don’t be a-bowin’ to none of this junk. Salami, Salami, Baloney–as the wise ol’ stooges would say.
Hey, Pard, I was close to right. I see yur ol’ mount is wearin’ waders. Stay on high ground, ’cause there ain’t no dry ground right now. Be safe if’s yuh have to go out, and best be checkin’ that cinch a couple of times; it might slip with the wetness.
Vaya con Dios.