As the hot liquid boiled in the pot, he thought about what all needed doing that day.”
–L.C. Matthews (The Promise)
Come on in hyar, Pard, and help me figurin’ out what needs to be done. Let’s see, revolver is cleaned and loaded. Rifle and shotgun are ready with plenty of ammunition. Gonna have my fill of coffee in a moment. Reckon that does it for this mornin’; sure I’ll need to add things as the day goes on and it comes to mind.
Go ahead, go ahead, don’t wait for me. I’ve already had one cup. Take a first sip and I’ll tell yuh what the uproar is all about. I read the other day from some top-notch scientists. They had to be for some of them worked for NASA at times, and the internet said they were smart guys. They’re sayin’ that we’re about to be invaded by aliens from outerspace. They weren’t talkin’ ’bout the border with Mexico, but from outerspace. They said we have to be ready to meet them. Hold on, Pard, let me get my spectacles and I’ll read yuh what one of them smart men was a-sayin’. Here it is, now don’t be sprayin’ out any coffee when I read it, or at least warn me ’bout the shower. This is from one of them doctors, not the medical kind, “We cannot afford to be ill-prepared–for an event that could turn into reality as early as tomorrow…” That was from Dr. John Elliott.
So I’m gettin’ myself ready for any of them varmints that might come a-knockin’ at my door. Ha, ha, the real story is that those scientific folks, and yuh know that science is true, are already with the stuff to be made up when the Christians are vacatin’ this ol’ earth. The sound–the vacatin’–whoooossseee. Yessiree, Pard, the Lord’s will be comin’ and they have to have some kind of a story. Yep, aliens just came down and swooped them up.
Pard, as much as I’m gettin’ ready for that invasion by those extra-terrestrials, I’m more ready for the return of the Lord. Won’t be needin’ my .44 when He comes in the clouds. I’ll even forgo my coffee, for I’m sure He has some heavenly brew up there.
Yuh best be on yur way, get ready for the events that may come tomorrow–the return of the Lord. Check that cinch; it would be embarrassing to be fallen off yur hoss when that trumpet sounds. More importantly, make sure that spiritual cinch is tight.
Vaya con Dios.