He warned us about the coffee, ‘Don’t get any of it on your clothes. Been known to eat holes in bat-wing chaps.’”
–J. Lee Butts (Lawdog)
Come on over to the stove, Pard, while I pour yur coffee. I want to check yuh over a little more closely. Now, I’ve known yuh for several years, but with all the hubbub in Congress I think I need to see yuh from this new perspective. I always thought the lumps on yur noggin was from not checkin’ yur cinch and fallin’ off yur horse, but some of them aliens or, “nonhuman biologics” are pretty lumpy from the photos I’ve seen. Let’s see, yur not from another galazy… I did read that there was a book with the title that men were from Mars. Nah, yuh ain’t red enough.
There have actually been found some ET pilots on earth. In fact, the testimony to Congress notes that the U.S. recovered non-human biological pilots from crashed crafts. My mercy, Pard, I sure hope my .44 has enough stoppin’ power should they seek refuge in my cottage. Wonder how much that cost the taxpayers to hold those hearin’s and kept them from doin’ their jobs.
Let’s see, hmmm, cover up for what? Hunter’s arrest and hearin’s. And we’re still waitin’ for somethin’ to happen with Epstein’s list. Or is it something else they’re drawin’ attention from? Pard, has you ever been in contact with one of them there aliens? Perhaps ol’ Joe has been talkin’ to them. It might make some sense in his antics. I even saw where one person said that we need to do away with some people to make room for those funny-lookin’, nonhuman guys to survive on earth. Duh, get rid of some to make room for strange aliens? Yuh know, I think we’ve become more than stupid.
Does that coffee taste strange? Maybe there’s some stardust in it, or perhaps a moonbeam passed over the beans last night. Whooooeeee, talk about the twilight zone. ‘Course we always knew there were strange folk walkin’ around the halls of Congress. Take a fresh look at some of them politikin’ folk. Schiff…yep, there’s a good choice. Pard, yuh best be carryin’ yur Matel zapper along with yur pistol.
Is this the answer that they’re lookin’ for when the Lord has the trumpet blown? An untold number of us folk down here will disappear into the clouds. How will that be explained? Well, let me tell yuh Pard, I’m gonna sit here and sip my coffee and if’n any of those funny-lookin’ fellows come by, I might offer them a cup whether they be alien, nonhuman biologics, or zombies. ‘Course I’ll keep my pistol at hand.
Yuh keep yur eye on the horizon, but with all of this hoodoo yuh might want to look up now and again. Nah, I don’t mean for those space ships, but the comin’ of the Lord.
Check that cinch, yuh don’t need any more lumps on yur noggin’, one of them there Congressfolk might mistake yuh for one of them nonhumans.
Vaya con Dios.