He took a sip of his coffee and nearly gagged. ‘This stuff ain’t coffee. I don’t know what it is but it sure ain’t coffee.’”
–Nathan Wright (The Return)
Whooeeee, I can understand that. Pard, yuh don’t have to be a-worryin’ ’bout my coffee. It’s sure strong enough to delight yur gizzard. But Pard, honestly, I’ve had some folk say that my coffee was a little on the strong side, they even went to add water to it. Now, the way I figure it, if’n yur gizzard ain’t stout enough, yuh can always add water, but what does a ‘poke do with weak coffee?
I remember one time, back a few years, I was in St. Louis. It was early mornin’ hours and I had a bus layover. I wandered about the city a spell, but then came back to drink some coffee. Yuck! Those old vendin’ machines made some of the worst coffee, but like the ol’ puncher said, the onliest thing worst than bad coffee is no coffee. I mean some machines and some folk make it so weak, and then yuh add the taste. Something that’s hard to describe….sorta like someone stirred it with their big toe. Ptui!
Pard, yuh remember ol’ Pole Vinski? I remember the tale he tolt of the ol’ cook on the trail, or maybe it was in the line camp. Anyhows, he didn’t keep cups around as they was always gettin’ broke, so he kept tomato and peach cans. There was this fella that came to the camp beggin’ for a cup, but if’n yuh can believe it, he wanted sugar in it. Ol’ Pole handed him the sugar tin and the guest poured a handful in his cup, then motioned for ol’ Pole to stir it for him. Yuh talk about gall. Ol’ Pole, not one to get riled, pulled out his gun and stuck the barrel in the can to stir it. Ha, the guest got the idea, and slurped that coffee right down.
Yuh know I had some things to say this mornin’ that came to mind this week ’bout some of the imbecilic things I’ve seen an’ heard, but they’ve done gone an’ slipped through my noggin’. But I will be tellin’ yuh this since I was talkin’ about coffee that’ll gag yuh, there’s some preachin’ services out there that’ll do the same. Well, I use that term preachin’ delicately. Folks want to be waterin’ down the truth just like they do their coffee. I call it “Cino” preachin’. Pard, yuh just can’t be followin’ Christ with cino religion, it’s got to be the real thing, strong and pure–undiluted. Yuh can’t get to those Pearly Gates with cino religion, there’s a price to be payin’ and a cross to be a-carryin’.
So take a sip, see if’n it ain’t to yur likin’. Ahhh, makes yuh want to get up an’ say “Howdy!” Pard, it’s gonna be a good day, as long as yuh remember to check yur cinch. Yuh best be on yur way an’ don’t be drinkin’ no watered down, toe-stirred coffee this week.
Vaya con Dios.