–Elmer Kelton  (The Pumpkin Rollers)

 

     Been waitin’ for yuh, Pard.  New coffeepot that the daughter gave me; makes a pretty good pot of coffee if’n yuh make it strong enough.  Now don’t go mixin’ it with anything; yuh know that ain’t proper in this kitchen.  Too strong?  If’n yuh must I’ll allow a little cow cream and sugar, but not cinos–yuh hear!

     Mixin’, something to be a-ponderin’.   There are things that don’t mix or if they do, they soon separate.  Vinegar and oil is good, but it won’t stay mixed for long.  Try mixin’ oil and water.  For sure guns and liquor don’t mix, especially in the camp.  One thing I’ve noticed over the last few weeks is that stupidity and violence don’t mix.  In all of my born days I’ve never seen such a gatherin’ of clowns and fools as I’ve seen in some of these so-called peaceful riots.  My mercy, and watch most of them, they’re belligerent until they face the law.  I recall ol’ Judge Dredd statin’, “I am the law.”  Well, no one can be a law unto themselves, for there is always a higher law and a greater Judge, and the more I see of the antics around the world, I know that soon there’s a great day a-comin’.

     Mixiin’, sometimes we try to mix the world into Christianity or we try to mix Christianity into the world.  Pard, it jist don’t work.  It’s one or t’other.  Like I wrote the other day, yuh can’t be mixin’ the things of the Holy Spirit with the things of the devil.  Yuh can’t be a-walkin’ on two paths at the same time.  Yuh need to take one, the straight one and stick to it come hades or high water.  Don’t be mixin’ yur mind with the ideas of the world, neither.  Hold fast to sound doctrine, that’s yur hope and walk.

     ‘Nough of that preachifyin’, let’s enjoy the coffee.  Ahhh, most things that are good are the simple things.  Like last Sunday, the family celebrated me bein’ around for ten additional years.  It was nice, simple, and sweet.  Yuh don’t need to be fanciful or have a lot of fru-frus, in fact, I’ll take simple anytime.  ‘Course I’m a simple sort of guy.

     Pard, did yuh stop to think?  Quit yur slurpin’ for a minute and ponder.  Yesterday was the first day of summer.  I know that some of the loonies out there go hug trees on the summer solstice, but there yuh go again mixin’.  I mean God is the creator, the creation is not God.  Yuh gotta keep ’em separate.  Pard, an’ if’n yuh hug a dogwood tree yuh’ll find that the bark is worse than the bite.  Hug it too long an’ it’ll rub yuh raw.  But again, what have we accomplished for the Lord this first half of the year?  Are yuh walkin’ rightly, ready, wary, and lookin’ upward?  

     Well, Pard, the pot’s empty.  Glad yuh stopped by for a spell; always good to see yur face.  At least I have someone who’ll take a listen to wait this ol’ fence post has to say.  Yuh know, Pard, life ain’t so hard if’n yuh trust in the Lord.  Oh, an’ for the likes of you, maken sure that yuh check yur cinch.  That reminds me, I was watchin’ the other day an’ this youngster didn’t take the time to mend his cinch and he went out a racin’ on his hoss, and well, yuh guessed it–his cinch broke and he fell on his noggin’.  Sure don’t want that to be happenin’ to you, why who’d come by and drink coffee with me?

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –C. Wayne Winkle  (Judd’s Journey)

 

Ohhh, “I care not today what the morrow may bring, If…” uh, sorry Pard, I didn’t hear yuh come in.  Well, since yur here, join in with me, “If shadow or sunshine or…”  What’dya mean I sound like a dyin’ coyote?  Pard, I’ll have yuh know that my singin’ is a pure delight–ha, at least in my own mind.  I’ll just hum some whilst I pour the coffee.  Don’t worry ’bout savin’ any since my daughter’s here, I’ll just make a fresh pot when she pulls out from under the sheets.

     Ohhh, “the Lord I know ruleth o’er everything…”  sorry, I forgot, but it’s the truth.  In fact, truer than that coffee yur about to slurp is delicious and will tickle yur gizzard.  Pard, take a sip an’ see if’n it don’t delight yur innards.  It don’t bring fear to me that Israel and Iran are goin’ at it.  God’s people are goin’ to be cared for in one way or another.  Why this fight has been goin’ on in one form or the other since ol’ Isaac and Ishamel parted ways.  Yuh just gotta be hangin’ on to the truth of God’s Word.  Don’t let all that hooraw in California be gettin’ to yuh.  You and I know it’s all a blusterin’ set up by the liberals.  Listen, that bard, James Wells, had it right, “the Master looks on at the strife.”  

     We never know what’s gonna be alongside our path.  Why I remember a few times when one of them snakes was there, just a-waitin’.  An’ that’s not to mention all the times the Serpent of all serpents was there lurkin’ to do me in.  Yuh know what I’m talkin’ about.  You’ve had it happen to you as well.  Once I was out walkin’ at night, one of those moonlight strolls, when Annie was just about to put her foot down.  Another couple was with us an’ he had a lantern.  He yelled, “Don’t put your foot down!”  Right there on the path was a copperhead.  If he hadn’t had that lantern, that light, well that ol’ serpent could have struck her.  Hmmm, Pard, don’t yuh see?  That’s the way the Holy Spirit works in our lives.  We walk along the trail on our journey to glory but there may be hidden snakes, but the light of the Holy Spirit warns us, “Don’t step down!”  

     Death, storms, battles, plus all the good times, the Lord is there, and if there may be something we can’t or don’t see, we can listen to the voice of our heavenly Guide.  Oh, by the way, I see yuh didn’t hesitate of swallerin’ all yur coffee an’ yur a-beggin’ for a refill.  Ha, go ‘head, let’s finish the pot.  Say, Pard, lest I forget, one of my ol’ pals crossed over the Great Divide a day ago.  I hadn’t seen him in several years, but ol’ Mike was one to ride the river with.  He just beat us to our heavenly home.

     Hmmm, pot’s empty, but for sure our soul ain’t.  Come on Pard, “Why should I then care, tho’ the tempest may blow, If Jesus walks close to my side.”  That’s it yuh don’t sound so bad, jump in here an’ keep it goin’ while yuh mount up an’ head out into the new week.  Ride straight, check yur cinch, and be a-listenin’ to the Master’s voice.  “Living by faith, in Jesus above, trusting, confiding in His great love…”  Oh, an’ Pard be rememberin’ that today is Flag Day–show the symbol of our great country some respect.

      Vaya con Dios.

                    –Elmer Kelton  (Other Men’s Horses)

 

Come in this hyar kitchen, Pard.  Sit yurself down an’ I’ll get the coffee directly.  Go ahead, slurp on it.  Let’s get this first cup down ‘fore I unload what’s a brewin’ in my mind.  Ahhh, nothin’ like it, just makes the ol’ gizzard do flips.

     Yuh can keep sippin’ while I bring to yur attention something I saw this week.  Yuh know this ol’ world is upside down in its thinkin’ and livin’.  Sure glad there’s still plenty of good God-fearin’ folk around.  The Lord is always there, but I can feel in my bones something a-brewin’ up in the heavens.  Let me fill my cup and take a sip ‘fore I get started.

     Pard, I saw where a gay pride flag was raised over San Antonio City Hall.  Several writers were boasting that the city was declaring its support of diversity and equal and fair rights for all people.  However, in reading this, which by the way didn’t settle on my stomach so well, I didn’t see anything mentioned regarding moral purity, or God’s moral laws, or moral integrity.  There were plenty of statements beratting those who are intolerant.  I wonder, what would happen if the Christian flag was raised over City Hall?  What would be the response to that?

     Let me go on, get yurself another cup if’n yuh need it.  There’s a movement in the schools where the term “Family” is no longer to be used.  It has been determined that Family is a racist term that promotes “whiteness.”  The article further stated that the term “family” puts males in an authority position.  Duh….!  Course there could be a problem since there is one group in America where seventy-five percent of the households (I won’t use the term “home”) do not have a father.  The article indicates that it was the responsibility of teachers to help dismantle whiteness.

     “Chaos, confusion, bring it on”…is the chant of the lawless.  Can’t yuh just see ol’ Scratch a gigglin’ an’ cheerin’ them on?  John writes regarding many “antichrists,” but there will be one leader; one who will come forth in the midst of the chaos and confusion.  Pard, that day is approachin’.  Yep, there’s a great day comin’ and it may not be just bye and bye, but sooner than we think.  That’s why we have to be keepin’ our noses clean and ready for the comin’ of the Lord.  Yep, He’s a-comin’ back for His Bride, and nothin’ will be stoppin’ Him and then, oh my, the world will really see corruption, evil, and wickedness go on the rampage.

     Well, the pot’s empty, and the coffee in my cup is cold.  That’s what I get for a-preachifyin’ at yuh.  Yuh be havin’ a good week, ride straight and tall, keep yur bearin’ and be wary of yur surroundin’s, and keep yur gun and Bible handy.  Oh, an’ lest I forget, don’t be a-goin’ out without checkin’ yur cinch.  Yuh forget that and yuh might fall on yur noggin’.  That might cause yuh some confusion.

      Vaya con Dios.

                    –J.V. James  (The Oldest Trick in the Book)

 

Come in here, Pard.  Let yur tongue drool whist I pour yuh some coffee.  Don’t be a-frettin’ none, I ain’t gonna serve yuh no bad coffee.  Nosiree, I don’t believe in such a thing.  There’s plenty in life that I surely don’t understand, an’ one of them is those folk that drink bad coffee.  Fru-fru, cino stuff, that ain’t no good fer man nor beast.  Whist I’ll bet an ol’ sow would turn her nose up at some of those things folks are a-drinkin’.

     Yur lookin’ fine this mornin’, Pard.  Britches are fairly clean, boots been wiped off, yep yuh look purdee nifty.  Pard, that’s another thing I don’t be understandin’ at all.  Yuh tell me why folks think it’s somethin’ nifty to be wearin’ britches with holes in them.  I kid all the time with the younguns about that.  I offer them a couple of dollars to help towards another pair of pants, or I’ll ask how much they paid for their pants and tell them they were cheated since they have so much material missin’.

     Why Pard, back when I was a youngster, I would play on my knees until I wore a hole through my jeans.  Grandma would then put on a patch and I can remember several times of wearin’ a hole in that there patch.  She didn’t want me out with holes in my pants.  Why if’n she was livin’ today, it would save her some time and effort not to be fixin’ up my pants.  

     Pard, I jist don’t rightly understand the thinkin’ of some folks.  Yuh take them crooks, them sidewinders who sneak into this country to commit atrocities and practice their brand of wickedness.  I don’t understand why folks want to allow them to stay.  Why not send them back where’s they came from?  In fact, some of them need to be sent on down to perdition as they’re a-headin’ that way anyhows.

     Go ‘head, don’t be mindin’ me, drink that sweet nectar I made yuh.  Nothin’ wrong with it, no sireee, that’s good coffee.  I done made it my ownself.  But here’s one other thing, Pard.  Since folks are so rarin’ to have weak coffee, or holey clothes, I hope they don’t have any holes in their doctrine.  Pard, they’re’s a bunch of people spoutin’ off weak or wrong teachin’ ’bout the Lord.  We can’t afford to be goin’ out in hostile country without knowin’ what we’re believin’.  Jist like yuh can’t be ridin’ out without checkin’ yur cinch; it jist ain’t safe, nor practical, nor God-fearin’.   No, Pard, we got to have sound doctrine in our hearts, jist like yuh need strong coffee fer yur innards.

     There, Pard, I’ve said my mind.  Time for one more cup, an’ I’ll tell yuh a secret.  Later today, the missus is makin’ a pie an’ I’m already a-hankerin’ for a piece ‘long with another cup of good coffee.  Yuh be havin’ a good week, now!

        Vaya con Dios.