Coffee Percs

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

Take a seat, I was just about to pour a cup of coffee. You like one?”

                    –Cliff Hudgins  (Viejo and the Lost Ranger)
 
Hey, Pard!  We made it back and did we have a swell time.  My mercy, the Lord sure blessed us with some grand country.  We made a nice trip goin’ first through New Mexico on into Arizona.  We had to change plans there as we wanted to see some sights but the Navajo Reservation was shut down.  After adjustin’ our schedule we went to Utah, spent some time on Antelope Island at Salt Lake, traveled through Idaho to our cabin in the Bitterroot Mountains of Montana.  I do mean to tell yuh, that I wish I was twenty years younger for the fishing looked great in that area, plus there were some great hiking trails.
       Coffee!  Pard, it was hard to get a decent cup of coffee.  That stuff they have in motels; well, a person can make only a fourth cup of coffee from one of them packets they put in the room.  On the trail; well, gas station coffee ain’t much better.  We did find decent coffee in a couple of cafes, but that was it.  Good thing I brought my own along, so I could make some in the cabin.  Let me tell yuh, good coffee is hard to come by.  Most of it is weak and watered down, kinda like the preachin’ out there and the wishy-washy folk.  I found out that Montanas have the same feelin’ towards “snowflakes” and “twinkies” that most of us Texans have.  They kinda make the gizzard start to gurgle.
       Another wonderful thing–I didn’t hear any news.  I was too busy concentratin’ on God’s great cathedral that I wasn’t about to be bothered by the news, or should I say the lies and arrogant attitudes of the bureaucrats.  Did I tell yuh that the Bitterroot River was fifty feet from our cabin, and that the trees around were majestic ponderosa pines?  Yep, to have been a bit younger.  But that’s not to bellyache, Pard, for we had a grand time.
       I didn hear a bit of stupidity when I came home.  It seems that the person tryin’ to be President said that he will send officials door-to-door to check on those who haven’t had the vaccine.  My mercy, isn’t that invasion of health privacy?  Seems to me a person’s health is their own affair not that of the government.  Next thing they’ll be comin’ and askin’ what kind of coffee I drink and if’n it ain’t the preferred type I might get it confiscated.  
      Ahhh, now that’s real coffee.  Yuh’d think that the coffee would be strong along the road.  Yuh would think those that serve it would want yuh to perk up and stay alert.  Good thing I’m back.  Have to have a decent cup on the stove, and from the news I heard it would be best to make sure yur gun is oiled and ready.
     How ’bout you, Pard.  Yuh haven’t fallen off yur hoss since I’ve been gone.  I mean there’s been no one around to remind yuh to check yur cinch.
           Vaya con Dios.

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

For lo! the board with cups and spoons is crowned
          The berries crackle, and the mill turns round
          At once they gratify their scent and taste
          And frequent cups prolong the rich repast
          Coffee (which makes the politician wise
          And see through all things with his half-shut eyes).”

                       –Alexander Pope
 
I found this poem and thought I’d use it today just to show yuh how cultured I am.  Pard, take notice, as yuh may never see the like again.  Wish some of those bureaucrats, those politicians would start drinking more coffee.  If’n they would lay off the booze, drink some hot strong coffee, and get back in God’s Word things would get better.  To look at some of them a person would think that their eyes are glazed over for most for they don’t have a lick of sense.
     We should normally leave fools to their folly, but the trouble with them bureaucrats is that their folly affects us all.  If foolishness abounds in a youngster yuh take them behind the woodshed and knock it out of them.  Ha, problems there already.  Very few woodsheds around and yuh might get charged with brutality or some other vice.  But an adult, how do yuh drive foolishness out of them?  Most of them are so blind that they don’t even see their own deception, they are self-deceivers as well as deceivers of others.
     Enough of that.  Shouldn’t dwell upon the fools, but sometimes it just grips my gizzard.  Back to our coffee and calm thoughts.  I’m still tryin’ to get my new email settled.  I’ve had a few sent back to me say they were blocked.  Yuh need to be takin’ care of that.  Look in the junk folder–that ain’t no place for a Perc nohow.  
     Ah, coffee’s good this mornin’.  Yuh better enjoy it for it’s the last for a spell.  No, I’m not goin’ to quit drinkin’, but I’m goin’ to be off-line for a few weeks.  Get yur fill this mornin’ for it’ll be sometime in July before I’ll be brewin’ yuh up another pot.
     Now, I don’t want to be a-hearin’ when I get back that yuh done forgot to check yur cinch.  I shouldn’t have to be doin’ that all the time.  Hmmm, maybe yuh need a trip to that shed.  
     Vaya con Dios. 

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

They gobbled their food like wolves, and when they drank their coffee, the noise they made was painful to her ears.”
                –John Fox, Jr.  (The Trail of the Lonesome Pine)

My mercy, Pard!  Take yurself a deep swaller before yuh hear this.  Go on, I hear yuh slurpin’.  Now swaller, I don’t want yuh to be spittin’ it out when I tell yuh that Kelloggs is puttin’ out a gay cereal.  Yep, all pretty colors for the little ones to see and drool over.  Then they have a pronoun lesson.  My goodness gracious, what is this world comin’ to?  The Lord up above lookin’ down on this foolishness surely can’t be happy.  
    With all this cavortin’ what comes to my mind, “As in the days of Noah,” and “as Sodom and Gomorrah went after strange flesh.”  How much longer will He withhold judgment?  Hmmm, take another swaller, while I ponder that for a minute.  The way I’m seein’ things, I think He is already in the process of judgin’.  The land has found itself in catastrophic condition since the first of the year, and I reckon it only will be gettin’ worse.  Something I once heard went like this, “Ignorance can be fixed; stupidity is fatal.”  Man, who thinks he is so enlightened, but in actuality is delusional thinks he has the answers, but in reality by forgettin’ God’s holy laws and values he is showin’ his outright stupidity.
    Pard, good thing I have yuh around to help get these problems settled.  Notice I said, settle, not solved.  There is no solution only in the good Lord.  Yuh stay ready, and we’ll continue to enjoy our coffee together and watch the stupidity of the world.  Whenever the devil takes over not only is there evil on the land, but stupidity takes over.  Morals and common sense go out the window.  
    I’ll give yuh credit Pard.  The only stupid thing I’ve ever seen yuh do was to forget to check yur cinch.  Yur Bible’s out, yur gun’s oiled and ready, but yuh have a tendency to mount without checkin’ that cinch.
           Vaya con Dios.

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

He took down another blue enameled cup, with a little enamel chipped from the rim.  He glanced at it…but the cup was spotless.  He took up the pot and poured himself a cup.  It was black as sin and strong enough to curl a man’s hair, but it was hot, and it tasted good.”
                 –Louis L’Amour  (Borden Chantry)

Modern technology—bah!  Come on in, Pard.  Just a fumin’ a bit.  No, the coffee’s fine, take a sip.  It won’t curl yur hair, but it’ll get yur attention.  Nah, this modern technology—those contraptions they call computers.  My mercy, they can be frustratin’.
       Let me tell yuh about it.  I got up early, my usual habit, made the coffee as per the rule of the house—first one up makes the coffee—then settled back in my office to send out my mornin’ Echoes.  First thing I noticed was that the page had changed.  Things were different, but then when I went to my draft folder, well that’s when I could have had a conniption fit if I hadn’t had my coffee next to me.  Nothing was in the folder.  I try to keep thoughts in there ready, but, alas, it had gone off somewheres.  I was told cyberspace.
       It shows to go yuh, that even when a body is prepared, ready, equipped that something strange, or unusual can happen.  I’m sure glad the heavenly Father ain’t like that.  He won’t slip up, make us wriggle in our problems, or cause undue anxiety.  He’s trustworthy, steady, and wantin’ the best for us.  We can go to the Rock that has a firm foundation and never changes.
Ahhh, good this mornin’ ain’t it?  Well, Pard, I then go ahold of those techy guys, IT they’re called.  He worked on the issue for over an hour and his conclusion—he’d have to get a higher up guy to check it out.  An hour!  Sure hope than ain’t counted against me as wasted time.
       The little things in life can be downright frustratin’ at times.  Like bad or weak coffee, dumb computers, and not checkin’ yur cinch.
       Vaya  con Dios.