Coffee Percs

He stalked over to the fire, squatted down and poured himself a cup of hot coffee…  He blew on his coffee and took a sip.  It was hot and very strong.  He grimaced, ‘Man that coffee’s bad.’”  
              –B.S. Dunn  (Last Stand in Sanctuary)

Don’t yuh be a-frettin’, Pard.  My coffee is strong, but it’s not bad.  Yuh’ve been drinkin’ it for long enough, yuh should know.  It shore is nice to start a Saturday mornin’ talkin’ with yuh.  Good thing yur married, ah, but from the looks of yur face, which ain’t so purty, yuh wouldn’t have nothin’ to be worried about.
    Yuh do realize what day this is?  Why back in them hills–the Ozarks this is huntin’ day for all the single gals and widows.  Back in the day it used to be called Sadie Hawkins Day.  Why I can remember “Lil Abner” in those races runnin’ until “Daisy Mae” caught him.  In fact, I had my own experiences down yonder way, onct upon a time.  Thar was this brown-haired gal with green eyes that I caught starin’ at me once.  Well, that particular Sadie Hawkins Day she caught up with me–took me to the Bonanza and bought me a steak.  What she wasn’t countin’ on at the time she etched herself in my tiny little heart.  Yep, shore enough fact.
    Trouble is now, a it might be hard for a gal to find what she’s lookin’ fer.  I’ll tell yuh for a fact, some of them fellers out there shore are swell, and sometimes yuh can’t tell one for the other.  Days are shore a-changin’ my friend.  Don’t want to think on it much fer it riles the gizzard.
    Yep, thing are changin’.  Good thing we have the Bible and can lean on it durin’ rough times and know that the good Lord ain’t changin’ one extra little bit.  Nope, we can trust Him to ride the river with, for He is unchangin’–He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever!
    My, my I jist can’t believe we done drunk a whole pot of coffee.  See, I done told yuh that it wouldn’t be bad.  Well, if’n folks could drink enough of my coffee they wouldn’t be a-fearin’ no coronavirus.
    Yuh, be havin’ yurself a good week.  This is March, startin’ tomorrow, so cinch up tight that yuh don’t get blown out of yur saddle.