Coffee Percs

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

In a little while the chips were glowing and throwing off heat enough to boil coffee and fry bacon… He leaned back and savored a second cup of coffee. ‘This is the life we was born for.’”

                    –Elmer Kelton  (Six-Bits A Day)
 
“From this valley they say…” come in this kitchen, Pard, I was just hummin’ up a mournful tune ’bout a gal leavin’ the country.  Those ol’ cowpokes sure had a lonely life out there herdin’ them bovines.  ‘Course, loneliness comes in all sorts of ways.  Why I’ve known folk to be lonely in New York City with all them people a movin’ ’bout.  “Course yuh can’t talk to none of them, they might think yuh were gonna rob them or at the least harass them.  Hmpf, some of them need some harassin’ that’s for plumb sure.
     Here yuh go, Pard.  I know that’s why yuh came by for this cup of pure deeelight.  Watch it for it’s mighty hot, but blow on it a bit and when yuh go to swaller it yur ol’ gizzard will be plumb tickled.  It’ll help yuh see yur way through all the foolishness that’s a-goin’ on ’round us.  Why, listen to this that happened just a week ago.  A police chaplain ended his prayer “in Jesus’ name.”  Quite fittin’ for a preacher don’t yuh think?  
     Well, the powers that be, wrote the chaplain a letter rebukin’ him, an’ tellin’ him to never do that again.  Here we have a preacher of the gospel of Jesus Christ bein’ warned not to use the name of Jesus in his prayers.  Now is that absurd or not?  Take a deep lingerin’ sip for what comes next we’ll get yuh riles if’n yur not prepared.  This here chaplain was informed that utterin’ the name of Jesus was, an’ I’m goin’ quote direct, so hold on.  It would be “considered harassment, created a hostile work environment, and lifted one religion above another.”  Now how ’bout them apples?  They were told they could pray using any other name for God, but the “specific use of ‘Jesus’ would not be permitted going forward.”
     If’n that don’t cause the gall to rise up in yur stomach!  In the name of Allah would be alright, or in the name of Buddha, or in the name of Hoo-Doo, but oh no, not in the name above all names–Jesus!  Took place in, yuh guessed it, California.  But it could happen most anywheres.  Folks ain’t fearin’ the Lord no more.  An’ I’m talkin’ ’bout a healthy fear, not no shakin’ fear, but that’s probably what’s needs to happen.  The Lord just grabbin’ them by the scruff of the neck and givin’ them a good shake tellin’ them to now listen here…
     Haven’t hear nothin’ else ’bout the matter, but it sure is something to be sure.  Pard, I think that ol’ city manager has done fell on his noggin’ too many times.  There ain’t a lick of sense left.  Let’s finish this pot, for there’s plenty to be done the rest of the day.  Glad yuh stopped by…an’ I know I don’t have to be a-tellin’ yuh–check yur cinch or yuh might end up with nothin’ left in yur noggin’ like that feller.
       Vaya con Dios.

 

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

There’s always been a light shining out of the window from dark till dawn. After regular hours any passing rider might enter and help himself of the coffee pot warming on the kitchen stove.”

                      –Ernest Haycox  (Wipe Out the Brierlys)
 
Mornin’ to yuh, Pard.  Still got yur galoshes on I see.  Mercy, is this rain ever gonna let up!  Now, Pard, I didn’t stay stop, but let it rain a little here, an’ a little there, especially come August.  But then again, Pard, we don’t want none of them herrycanes that bring wind and rain.  
     Go ‘head, take off yur slicker an’ I’ll pour yuh some coffee.  Pure delight!  That’s yur joinin’ me this mornin’, an’ when yuh taste this brew yu’ll think the same.  Ahhh, good, hot, and black.  Don’t go mixin’ it none like them shysters who did that with the law.  That trial up there in New York was a sham.  Talk about twistin’ an’ twirlin’ the law and makin’ it for their own good.  Pard, there’s comin’ a day, not just for them, but for all of us.  “There’s a great day comin!…”  Sorry Pard, I didn’t mean for my singin’ to cause yuh to spurt out yur coffee.
     Pard, I was glancin’ at some things in the Good Book.  ‘Course those in that court don’t care much for it, but one day they’ll be wishin’ they had.  Go ahead, I’m not gonna sing, slurp down yur coffee.  But as I was sayin’, I was readin’ those Prophets, Micah and others, and my mercy, one of the reasons judgment was comin’ was the perversion of justice.  Why to do justly is one of the simple requirements the Lord done give us, not to use it for our own whims and agendas.  An’ that ol’ wise man, Solomon tolt us that it’s a joy to do justice, but those who do iniquity just better be watchin’ out.  See this issue ain’t about President Trump; it’s about the law, justice, an’ the American way.  The perversion of justice, well, it just paves the way for that “man of lawlessness” that is gonna bring havoc to this ol’ earth.
     But on the brighter side, we’ll enjoy our coffee this mornin’ and we’re a-knowin’ that behind it all the Lord is in control.  All the shenanigans by the judges and those behind the scenes ain’t got a fix on Him.  So we just keep right on goin’ our way, doin’ justly, lovin’ mercy, an’ walkin’ humbly with the Lord.  That’s all we can do, cayn’t do nothin’ else.  Trustin’ in the Lord is what we’ve got to be doin’ each and every minute of the day.  That goes for you too, when yuh go to mount, yuh do yur part by checkin’ yur cinch, then the Lord will help yuh stay in the saddle.
     Yeehaw, yuh be havin’ yurself a bustin’ good week!  Hang in there, an’ if’n yuh need to, hunker down durin’ the storm.
      Vaya con Dios.

 

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

I heated up a canteen cup of coffee with a sterno tablet. I had to hover over it to keep the rain from drowning it out.”
                    –E.B. Sledge

Yippi-ki-yay, Pard, it’s Saturday.  Just wanted to let out a hoot ’cause the Lord done blessed us with another day together, and that the coffee is ready, hot, and ready to be guzzled.  I was readin’ ol’ Sledge’s quotation.  I’ve made coffee a few times over sterno, but more often over hexamine tablets.  I had a little tripod with a center disc large enough for a tablet.  My cup would fit nicely over it, and I could get one cup hot enough with one tablet.  I was just reading that they were banned last October.  Another good thing done away with ’cause of the fools out there.  Next they’ll be takin’ matches, ’cause they start fires.  “Course these modern matches, the light everywhere kind, don’t light everywhere.  Probably not enough phos’rus on the tip.
     Heard that the blueberries are ripe and ready for the pickin’.  Now if’n I could just go get the daughter and girls to pick me some, maybe even send the Missus to help, I could have me a blueberry pie, or blueberry muffins, or blueberry cake–well, yuh get the picture.  When I was a teenager, ‘back in the sixties blueberry pie was my favorite.  Mmmm, imagine that with a cup of this brew.  Wouldn’t that make the gizzard sit up with delight; might even get a howl from it.
     On a more serious note, I want to share something with yuh.  Maybe it’s more of a comical, stupid, foolish note, but behind it sits the lies of the pit.  The pope, in all his splendor and pseudo-glory has made a proclamation.  He said this on 60 Minutes, “We are all fundamentally good.  Yes, there are some rogues and sinners, but the heart itself is good.”  My, my, is he self-deluded or not?  The prophet of old, Jeremiah, said this, “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)  Perhaps he should also take a look at Proverbs where the heart is described as foolish, perverse, wicked, proud, haughty, evil, and other such things.  Why even the sage Paul recognized that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

     Yelp, Pard, false prophets and deceivers are out there, don’t yuh be caught up in their sayin’s.  An’ the more they rattle an’ spout, the more they believe themselves.  These are those whom the Lord sends a strong delusion to.  Ahhh, sure nothin’ delutin’ ’bout this coffee, that’s for sure.  Pure deee—light!  Pard, yuh watch out for them fakers, seers, an’ the like.  They’ll try to steal the truth from yuh.  An’ don’t go ridin’ off without checkin’ yur cinch first–that’s another way yuh can be deluded, by fallin’ on yur noggin’.
         Vaya con Dios.

 

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

The rain continued for the rest of the night and all the following day. It rattled into their tin plates while they ate, and diluted the hot black coffee they drank.”

                    –Ralph Compton  (The Western Trail)
 
Come on in, Pard.  At least the rain’s gone for a few days.  I’ve seen some rain in my time, but this is one of the best of ’em.  Just when yuh think it’s gonna stop, it starts right on in rainin’ again.  I don’t know how much we’ve had, but it has to be twenty-five inches plus in the past two weeks.  Should have a rain barrel set out.  I remember that Pappy always had one to catch the rain.  But yuh know, we’re complainers at heart, come this summer we’ll be complainin’ of how hot and dry it is and that we wish we’d have some rain.  We need to be in tune with the Lord that no matter the weather we can bring up a smile and take on the storm even if’n we do have to hunker down and endure it for a spell.
       Well, Pard, the coffee’s hot an’ ready for yur tonsil test.  See if’n it slides down or glides down.  I guarantee it’ll move down faster than a cup of molasses.  Take a swaller whilst I tell yuh a story I read ’bout that ol’ circuit-ridin’ preacher Robert Sheffey.  He was quite a character as were many of those dedicated men who went about preachin’ God’s Word to those on the outskirts of civilization.
       It seems that on one of his journeys he was called in to pray for a child who had been bitten by a rattlesnake.  He began to pray, “O Lord, we do thank Thee for rattlesnakes.  If it had not been for a rattlesnake they would never have called upon You.  Send a rattlesnake to bite Bill, and one to bite John, and send a great big one to bite the old man.”  It seems that they weren’t a God-fearin’ family an’ only called on the Preacher as a last resort.  But, yuh know something–the Lord works in mysterious ways.  Here the devil might have meant to take the life of the boy an’ it was used to bring the Preacher, prayer, and eventually possible conversion.  You’ve seen it, an’ I’ve seen it plenty of times where the Lord takes what is meant for evil and uses it for good.
       How ’bout that coffee?  I calls it “kitchen blend” ’cause its made up of some remains of some coffee I had.  Don’t be likin’ it too much, ’cause there’s no way it can be duplicated.  Not the best, but for sure not the worst I’ve had.  See, yuh never know what I might be brewin’.  One day it might be that special elixir Kona, another day Arbuckles or Community, an’ like today–kitchen blend.
       Pard, yuh be sayin’ a prayer for those in the military for today is Armed Forces Day.  Those folk sure do need our prayers, not only from the attacks that might come from and enemy, but from those within our country who want to make clowns of our military.  So, ‘nough said regardin’ that last week, yuh just be prayin’.  Oh, an’ keep yur guns ready and handy, for yuh never know….  Stay ridin’ true to the Lord, an’ checkin’ yur cinch when yuh mount.
          Vaya con Dios.