–Robert J. Thomas  (The Reckoning)

 

Reckon it’s time for some coffee since yuh finally showed up.  I’ve been patiently waitin’ for yuh.  Grab a cup, yuh know where they are, and while yur there bring over that pot and fill mine up again.  I’ve already a cup or two ahead of you this mornin’.

       Pard, let me tell yuh, some things just jerk my jaws.  I don’t know much ’bout this Toby Keith; only could tell yuh a couple of his songs, but when folks go to cheerin’ the death of someone there’s a problem.  Why should I be surprised though?  That’s the kind of people that are out there–the same type that stoned the prophets.  I’ve been readin’ about ol’ Jeremiah and the time of the captivity of Judah.  When you read all the things they did, no wonder God brought judgment to them.  

       Hananiah, who proclaimed to be the true prophet and not Jeremiah said that things were all hunky-dory.  God wouldn’t judge Judah and that the people should just go along.  But they were already far gone.  The King had not worshiped Yahweh or if he did he mixed it with the religion of the Canaanites.  Jehoiakim was a tyrant, who profaned the Word of the Lord.  He was a violent man, a man who did not fear God, a man who tattooed his body in defiance of God’s Word, and burned the prophecy of Jeremiah.  He allowed the worship of false gods in the land, and even the practice of baby sacrifice to those gods.

       Sorry, Pard, didn’t mean to make yur coffee spoil in yur gizzard, but it was a bad time for Judah.  But readin’ this has got me to ponderin’ some.  We have a person who heads our government who could care less about the Word of God.  He would allow baby sacrifice in the form of abortion.  Oh, it may not be Molech, Dagon, or Baal, but it is to the sacrifice of self and humanism.  Pard, let me tell it to yuh straight and yuh can chew on it for a spell–this country has been warned about it’s turnin’ away from God.  It can’t continue to be the country that God ordained it to be if it continues on this chosen course.  Again, when people cheer over the death of a man there is something wrong with the morals of those people.  

       There, I’ve said all I’m goin’ to say on the matter–at least for this Saturday.  If’n yuh left any coffee in the pot, I reckon I’ll stroll into the office or my chair and ponder some.  Yuh watch yur step and surroundin’s for there’s folks that just might smile if’n they see yuh fallin’ off yur horse ’cause yuh didn’t check yur cinch.  Be careful, be ready, and hang on tight.

        Vaya con Dios.

                    –Louis L’Amour  (Borden Chantry)

 

Is the weather suitin’ yuh now?  Well, no matter the weather, come on in an’ we’ll have some coffee together.  Pard, we’ve gone from a long, hot, dry summer to a really cold spell, then to a week of rain, where it’s now finally settlin’ down to some wonderful weather.  But don’t be countin’ on the weatherman.  I used to say that was the only job where people were paid to lie, but I’ve added a few more to the list.  Listen, don’t even be a-believin’ ol’ Punxsatawny Phil.  The furry booger has been know to lie.

       But whatever the weather, the pot’s on the stove, an’ if’n yur real nice, I’ll brew up some fresh an’ not give yuh the mornin’ leftovers.  Good coffee this mornin’!  Pard, I got up this mornin’, made the coffee, then sat myself down in my readin’ chair to watch gray light begin to appear.  I was a-sittin’ and a-contemplatin’ when I thought I heard horses movin’ into that heavenly corral.  Yuh think it could’ve been the foreman, Michael, telling Gabriel and the other angel hands to go gather up the herd?  So I contemplated that waitin’ for the sun to rise up through the trees.

       Then I started to ponder on the goodness of the Lord.  My, yuh sure don’t have to look far to see His goodness.  Take a deep swaller, an’ then tell me of God’s goodness.  He made the bean to grow on a bush, gave someone the work to pick them.  Somewhere’s down the line they were roasted just for you and me, then I finally brewed it up this mornin’.  God is good an’ that’s just a simple example.  Why, I looked in the mirror shavin’ yesterday and saw the lines of age etched on my face.  Some folk never get to be this old, so the Lord is good.  An’ those lines, well, Pard, that’s just experience showin’ through.  Yep, sure beholdin’ to the Lord for all His goodness to me all through the years.  Sorry, Pard, didn’t mean to go gettin’ sentimental on yuh.

       Pot’s empty, that means it’s time for yuh to be moseyin’ on down the road.  The Lord willin’ the coffee’ll be on for yuh next Saturday.  Yuh be havin’ a good week…say, see that’s another example of the goodness of God.  If’n we have a day in front of us it’s due to His goodness, an’ Pard, beyond that His mercies are new every mornin’.  Yuh stay safe, keep yur gun ready and yur life prayed up, an’ Pard, don’t forget to check yur cinch.  Don’t be fallin’ on yur noggin’ this early in the year.

        Vaya con Dios.

                          –Wayne D. Dundee  (Rainrock Reckoning)

 

Heard yuh comin’, Pard.  Coffee’s hot and strong for yuh this mornin’.  How ’bout this weather?  Remember how hot and dry it was last summer?  Whooee, then a week or so ago it was freezin’ and now the past week the rains came, and came, and came.  So Pard, I hope yuh stayed dry.  The missus and I was a-talkin’ and I said something ’bout it rainin’ cats and dogs, to which she replied it was more like elephants and hippopotamuseses.

       Pard, after yuh finish that swallow, I’ve something to tell yuh.  I’m finishin’ up my latest book and went to the publishin’ area and they’ve added a new question.  Did AI help you on the book?  I was a-wonderin’ what a steak sauce had to do with the writin’ of my book.  Then I was told that it wasn’t a steak sauce it was artificial intelligence.  Now, that didn’t help me much, ’cause I knew for sure that none of those liberal politicians helped me none, nor any of them loose-lipped folk out there that hasn’t a clue what real life is all about.  Come to find out, Pard, that this is the newest thing.  Artificial Intelligence (AI) is doin’ all sorts of things from singin’ to writin’ to influencin’ and all sorts of other things–sorta like a new-fangled type of hoo-doo.

       Good thing I made the coffee strong.  Common sense has done been done away with for the most part, and now they’re a-comin’ up with artificial sense.  Well, I guess that makes sense since none of those folks have any sense only follow whatever suits them.  I’m a-thinkin’ they live in a maze, sorta like walkin’ with Alice in the “Wonderland.”  But they think, I use that term loosely, they know it all.  They tell us they are more enlightened.  Ptui!  Seems to me they’re a gropin’ down in the mudhole.

       Go ahead, Pard, take a long drink, for what I’ve to tell yuh next will surely get yur gizzard up tight.  I was sittin’ in the doctor’s office, jist a-waitin’ for the vampire to get me to draw blood, when on that there television came the notice.  Hold on, now — the Church of England has a transgender servin’ as a bishop.  Listen, Pard, we’re livin’ in a strange, evil age, let me tell yuh.  I wanted to be sure so I looked it up and sure ‘nough.  She/he/it said, “Queer people are a blessing to the Church.  When I’m wearing my collar, it lets children know that is okay.”  The use that term “nonbinary” which means someone who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman.  Pard, we’re livin’ in a mixed up, confused world, an’ you and I know who’s the author of confusion.

       However, let me tell yuh, I read of some common sense.  Those furries, yuh know who/what they are?  In Oklahoma if a student identifies as a furry and they’s a-causin’ a problem in school, animal control is sent for.  Now, that’s usin’ yur brain.  See, Pard, why I made the coffee so strong this mornin’?  Such goin’s on is all around us.  Yuh best be in God’s holy script more and more and be tellin’ your kids and grandkids the right way to go.  Pard, why some of these folks act more looney than you do when yuh fall on yur head ’cause yuh didn’t check yur cinch.  Be travelin’ easy and straight–the devil is out to deceive yuh.  That’s why I always sign off…”go with God.”

        Vaya con Dios.

                         –Ernest Haycox  (Grim Canyon)

 

Brrrr, Pard, the ol’ starter gets harder to start as it is, don’t need the cold a drivin’ at my bones.  I can remember some cold nights around a campfire and even colder mornin’s.  One time, over on the South Llano, we were campin’.  It got down to 19 degrees.  Now my sleepin’ bags at the time were good to around 28 degrees; needless to say, it was cold when I lumbered out of bed in the mornin’ to get the fire goin’ and the coffee started.  Shiverin’ now just thinkin’ of it.

       I see yuh made it out this mornin’.  Cold again…but I’ve got the coffee on and it’s plenty hot and strong.  Made plenty of soups this week, and a pot of chili verde the other night.  Those sure helped to keep the innards warm.  Go ‘head, drink it up, there’s plenty in the pot.  We might as well finish it all up ‘fore goin’ back out in the cold.  Hmmm, endless cycle–cold, then come in for coffee, the back out in the cold, then more coffee.  Why just the traipsin’ back and forth helps keep a body warm.

       Thinkin’ ’bout the cold brought to my mind a thought of those out there who are really sufferin’ from the cold; a cold of a different sort–coldness of the heart.  There’s cold heart among spouses, cold hearts against former friends, cold hearts with family members, but the worsest sort of cold heart is that against the Lord.  I recall that the good Lord said that because of the increase of wickedness the love of many will grow cold.  Pard, I think that’s in Matthew 24.  Aren’t we seein’ that ’round us today?  Folks could care less ’bout what the Bible says, or they want to be givin’ their own opinion of it rather than acceptin’ it as the Lord intended.  

       Pard, as that coffee warmed up yur gizzard, be sure an’ get in the Bible to keep yur soul warmed.  Might even have to stir the coals some to get the flame a-goin’, but yuh sure don’t want to let it grow cold.  Why, Pard, a cold campfire ain’t no good to no one!  A body can’t get warm, can’t get the water to boil for coffee–a cold, dead campfire is good for nothin’ but to tell someone that there used to be one there.

       Yuh, be havin’ a good Sunday tomorrow, let the flame of the Holy Spirit warm up that spirit within yuh.  Stay on the right trail, be wary of hostiles, guard the truth so be sure yur guns are loaded and ready, for the mercies’ sake Pard, check that cinch ‘fore yuh mount up.

        Vaya con Dios.