Coffee Percs

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

He snatched up a tin cup with his left hand and the coffeepot with his right, then poured himself a steaming cup.” 

                         –Stephen Bly  (Beneath a Dakota Cross)
 
Mornin’ to yuh, Pard.  Sad day, sad day.  Maybe you heard that ol’ Skinny McFarland died.  Yep, some say he was the skinniest person alive, and that’s what led to his demise.  Yuh see, Pard, he fell through a hole in the seat of his pants and choked himself to death.  Ha, Pard–what do yuh mean absurd?  No more absurd that some of the things these politicos spout at us.  No recession is one cry.  Another one looming in the near future–put on your masks!  
       Voices shouting, murmuring, crying, and whining all around us.  My mercy, what in the world is a person to do?  Well, I know for one thing this ol’ fence post is goin’ to have a seat, maybe in the ol’ rockin’ chair.  Then sip on a cup of hot, strong, black coffee and above all trust in the Lord.  Pard, can we afford to put our trust in the leadership when they can’t even speak properly?  We’re in a mess an’ the only thing that’s goin’ to save us is if the nation turns back to the Lord.
       When even those who are supposed to be in charge are confused, why that shows to go yuh that we have problems.  I was talkin’ wiith another Pard this past week and he mentioned that he thought he was born at the wrong time in history.  I’ve had many saddlepards tell me that same thing, and I’ve often thought it myself, but then the good Lord gives me a nudge.  “I had a reason for you to be born at this time.  You have a purpose.”  Yeah, Lord I reply with a sigh, knowin’ that He’s right–He’s always right.
       Ahhh, that coffee is sure ‘nough good this mornin’.  Goes right on down to the gizzard and makes it tingle with joy.  Listen Pard, as yuh head out to mount up, more than ever be wary of yur surroundin’s.  There’s evil under every rock, so be careful when yuh have to pick one up.  Don’t be dozin’ in the saddle as one of them snakes might cross yur path and yur hoss will throw yuh whether yuh tightened yur cinch or not.  Keep goin’ onward and forward, but glance up at the sky ever so often for our redemption draweth nigh.
       Vaya con Dios.

 

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

I went into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee and came back to sit at the table and began to ponder on what I knew.”
                         –D.C. Adkisson  (Redemption)

“Well, this world is not my home, I’m just a-passin’ through…”  Come in this kitchen, Pard.  Coffee’s hot and strong, not for weaklin’s.  Yuh caught me singin’ again.  The missus and I went to a funeral over in that there Cajun Land, place called Baton Rouge, the other day.  Another good one has crossed over the Great Divide, and we thought that the ol’ steel silver mount hadn’t been rid for a while so we took off.  Good to see folk that played a part in our lives.  
       For shore, she’s with the Lord and in a better place.  They more I see things happenin’ the more I wonder why the Lord tarries.  Course I know, He’s a-waitin’ for the last one to say “yes.”  But that don’t mean that judgment might not be comin’.  Why we have the House of Representatives, those people who are supposed to represent the people, declaring that they know better than God.  They passed a bill sayin’ that same-sex marriage is okay.  My mercy, the Lord done declared that marriage is between a man and a woman.
       Go ahead and drink yur coffee, I’m doin’ some preachifyin’.  Seems to me that instead of becomin’ brighter their lamp is pretty dim.  Anyone who dares put themselves up over God is in for a real fixin’ when He finally decides to bring judgment.  Then I saw that the dictionary is becomin’ what they are callin’ “woke.”  What a foolish term, for they are more asleep to reality and the things of God.  Wish that they would be “woke, and see what they’re doin’.  But those folks who write the dictionary and make up all them words has said that a female is now “having a gender identity that is the opposite of male,” and that a girl is “a person whose gender identity is female.”  Pard, a woman is a woman because God made them that way.

       Sorry, for the rampage, let me swaller some coffee.  Whew, needed to get that said.  Pard, I’m tellin’ yuh, that when the government of a nation puts themselves in the place of the Almighty then watch out!  It’ll be worse than you forgettin’ to check yur cinch and fallin’ out of the saddle on yur head.  Hmmm, maybe that’s what has happened to these “woke” folk, they forgot to check their cinch and landed right smack-dab on their noggin.’  Nah, they wouldn’t know how to sit in the saddle noways, much less check their cinch.
       Let’s drink the rest of the pot.  No need lettin’ it sit there.  Drink it all down, then get on down the road to the doin’s of the day.  
       Vaya con Dios.

 

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

He flicked his tin cup toward the fire, the coffee that was in the cup making a sizzling sound as it struck a burning cottonwood limb.” 

                         –Wayne D. Overholser (Day of Judgment)
 
Pard, we lived in a self-centered, insane world.  Here, sit yurself down, so’s I can unload on yuh.  Don’t be frettin’ I’m gonna pour yuh a cup first.  Great stuff this mornin’, all the way from Portugal.  My son-in-law was there on a mission’s trip, and thinks enough of me to bring me a pound of coffee.  And see, I’m sharin’ it.
       But back to my point of what I want to be gettin’ at.  There are plenty of proud people walkin’ around in this world, struttin’ like a peacock.  But what is gettin’ back are those arrogant prideful people who take it up to the next step.  That’s where a peacock in all its plummage thinks it’s an eagle.  It’s all around so don’t think yuh can be escapin’ it.  Let me give yuh a prime example.  Yesterday mornin’ I was drivin’ the ol’ blue steel mount on a two lane road.  A car came up behind me and started to pass–pass where there is no passin’.  Why if’n a car had been comin’ up the hill from the other side that man would have been in a world of hurt, along with the guy passin’ me and he would have took me right along with him.  
       Now why would a man take a foolish chance like that and on top of it break the law?  It has to be arrogance.  The idea that “I can do what’s I want to do, and phooey on you.”  Pride is a deadly sin.  A man who thinks more of himself than he ought is a dangerous man.  Go ahead and swaller yur coffee, I’m goin’ to continue to rant for a spell.  Man wants to be his own god, that’s shown right off the bat back in the Garden.  “You shall be like God!” came the voice of ol’ slewfoot, and Adam and Eve reveled in that thought.
       Hold on a minute Pard, I’m gonna drink this down and pour me another cup.  Can I get yuh a refill?  I found out somethin’ else last week.  I was readin’ some news.  Accordin’ to one of them know-it-alls, man can get pregnant and have a baby.  When she was challenged the woman got all huffy–arrogant and stated that she was most definitely right.  The problem was that they were not communicatin’.  She was talkin’ about someone who was “trans”, ah. yur’ gettin’ the picture now.  Her opponent said that there were only two biological sexes.  She wanted to argue more.  See, Pard, crazy, insane, arrogant.  Yep, Pard, it’s what that ol’ preacher Paul wrote, “Professing to be wise, they became fools.”
       Seems like all I can do anymore is shake my head at all the foolishness that seems to be aboundin’.  A man can get pregnant, because he is not really a man, but a woman who thinks she is a man, therefore she is.  Am I makin’ any sense?  How long, oh Lord, how long?
       Pard, I’ve known folk who sneer when I remind them they ain’t king of the saddle.  That they have to stoop down a bit to check that cinch first.  No use tryin’ to do any hard ridin’ with a loose cinch, but Pard, doggone they will give it a try.  At least yur not arrogant when I remind you.
        Vaya con Dios.

 

Coffee Percs

by Ira Paine, Posted on

There might be some coffee in the pot and it was a good time to think, to try to put it all together.”

                         –Louis L’Amour  (Borden Chantry)
 
Ahhh, good coffee this mornin’.  Don’t yuh be a-frettin’, the pot is near full.  And don’t be worryin’ none either, I promise yuh that it’s strong enough to make the hairs on yur tongue straighten right up.  Nice an’ hot too.  
       Pard, I’ve been noticin’ that most of them thar people who are confused over this here gender issue are those who squat on the liberal side.  Some call them leftists, others call them liberals, and I’ve even heard a few other names for them.  They are confused over most everything exceptin’ their agenda.  They know they don’t want anything to do with conservative values or Biblical Christianity.
       Yuh know, I’m ’bout to carry the ol’ shotgun whenever I go out to sit in the rocker.  Yep, that’ll be me, gun in one hand, and coffee cup in the other.  Why, yuh ask?  Well, Pard, let me tell yuh.  I read about, what me bein’ a conservative would call a person of the female gender proclaim that she was actually a cardinal in the form of a human.  Yep, yuh heard me right.  She was goofy as a loon, but she called herself a cardinal.  Pard, where do these nuts come from?  Do they just spring up out of the ground?  A cardinal, why not a red-wing blackbird?  The truth of the matter is that no matter what she calls herself, the Creator made her a female.   Why I even heard that some states are leaving the sex of a baby off the birth certificate until they can decide at a later age what they are.  This has to be at the top of the ladder of stupidity!
       I know Pard, there’s folks out there confused.  Some of it is deception straight from perdition, some of it is the stupidity of what they hear, and they decide without thinkin’ what they’ll be.  Maybe they need a good cup or two of my coffee to get them straightened out.  I read the other day that we used to sort of tell if a person was strange or not, and I don’t mean full-blown gay, just a little prissy when he wore a diamond ring on his pinky.  That’s the guy who probably has never been closer to a cow than a sirloin steak.  But now, we even have those people who want synthetic beef.  That can’t happen, it’s either synthetic or its beef!  My goodness, one of the richest men in the world is buyin’ up land so that beeves can’t be raised on it.
       Well, Pard, the mornin’ has come to an end, the pot is empty as is the cup exceptin’ for a few dregs.  At least, it’s settled, in my mind for sure, what is what and who is whom.  No matter what anyone says, pseduo-science, sociologists, or politicians, I’ll go with what the Creator has designed.  Oh, an’ one more thing I’m for sure of–yuh better be checkin’ yur cinch.  It looks some loose to me from where I’m standin’.
        Vaya con Dios.