In heat like this, coffee’s good for your innards.  Besides, a man ought never pass up the chance to take on a good cup of coffee, no matter what.  One of the best things in life, and that’s a fact.”
               –Wayne D. Dundee (Dismal River)

We sure don’t miss many Saturdays, do we Pard?  Always good to have company, sit back and enjoy a cup of hot, black coffee.  A body never knows.  Why with all this pandemic stuff, the riots, and then the folks that are tryin’ to get rid of history, the good and bad, we just might not be back next week.  Shore ‘nough, Pard, you’re old enough to be one of them statues they’re pullin’ down. 
     I don’t have the words to describe them–they’re beyond stupidity that’s for certain!  My mercy, an’ those youngsters are some of the most foolish I’ve ever seen, cryin’ for socialism.  Someone ought to slap the stupid out of them along with those liberal bureaucrats.  Hmmm, but if’n they did that, there wouldn’t be nothin’ left but a pool of slime.
     Let’s just sit here for a spell, and enjoy the coffee.  I reckon it won’t take us long to empty the pot.  One thing I seldom do is pass up a cup of coffee, it makes my ol’ gizzard take notice an’ smile.  Never know when there might be a coffee shortage.  Ahhh, that’s good coffee this mornin’!
     Pard, what I’m gonna do it enjoy the coffee and the days the Lord has given me.  My guns are oiled and loaded with plenty of ammunition.  I’ve been readin’ and studyin’ the Bible lookin’ at what the Lord says about livin’ this life and lookin’ for His comin’.
     Be on the alert in yur travels, Pard.  This ol’ world ain’t gettin’ any better, but yuh know what?  I’m plenty satisfied in knowin’ that the Lord is by my side come what may.  Don’t be takin’ for granted that yur saddle is on tight, yuh be checkin’ that cinch, hyar?

Come on in.  I’ve got coffee on.’  They seated themselves and she put out a tray of doughnuts and filled their cups.”
              –Louis L’Amour  (Conagher)

Cup’s on the table, I’ll bring the pot in a second.  Say, what happened to yur fingers, Pard?  Firecrackers!  Listen, yur not suppose to hold them in yur hand after yuh light them, don’t yuh know that?  Fast fuse, yeah, right.  At least they’re all still there, an’ that one’s yur trigger finger.  Don’t be wantin’ to lose that one.
    We didn’t have firecrackers in Colorado, but in the summer time when we went to Oklahoma, Dad would always buy some.  He wouldn’t let me hold them, I had to place them on the ground, or put ’em under a can.  He’d then give me his cigarette an’ I would light the fuse and rush away.  BOOM!  Fun times, for sure.
    Drink up, those fingers on yur left hand ain’t hurt none.  Coffee’s good…it’ll get yuh ready for all the doin’s of the 4th of July.  My, lookin’ at yur fingers it gets me to thinkin’ ’bout how folks just play around with firecrackers, and some use dynamite thinkin’ that nothin’ can happen to them.  If’n they’re not careful, they might find that they’re holdin’ on to some with a fast fuse.  Boom, and the fingers are gone.
    See, people have a tendency to get complacent, or like a kid think they know it all.  Complacency, bein’ too comfortable, and the fuse burns faster than they thought and there is an explosion.  The kid thinks he knows it all, plays around with booze, drugs, sex, and the like an’ then all of a sudden, the fuse burns fast and there is an explosion.  
    What?  My coffee is makin’ yur gizzard explode?  Nonsense, drink down another cup, and it’ll even out.  My mercy, yuh whine just like those young’uns out there.  Goin’ be grillin’ today, enjoyin’ the family, and bein’ thankful for this great country despite all the antagonists.  My cup is full, no, not the coffee cup, I done drank all of it.
    Be on yur way Pard, and be careful with those firecrackers.  Now I mean it, if’n yuh ain’t careful yuh might forget to check yur cinch and then it wouldn’t be only yur fingers that are messed up.

My cup was still on the table.  Finding that there was still warm coffee in the pot I filled the cup.”
             –D.C. Adkisson  (Trouble at Gregory Gulch)

Didn’t mean to put a scare into yuh, Pard.  I was jist checkin’ the action of my shotgun.  Smooth, nice and smooth, jist like the coffee I make.  Say, why the grimace?  Yuh know my coffee’s the best in the county!  It’ll cure that riled up liver an’ soothe out yur irritated gizzard.  Guaranteed to put hair on yur chin.  Uh, but some have mentioned that yuh shouldn’t rub it in as it might take the hair off’n yur skin.  Ha, I remember one o’ boy said it tastes like somethin’ yu’d sit in to remove a tattoo.
    Well, I don’t rightly know ’bout that.  I’m a-thinkin’ it’s mighty tasty.  Why if’n some of those fools came an’ just a seat with us each Saturday we’d have them fixed right up about right an’ wrong.  For sure, my coffee would jist soothe out the peskiness in their soul.  I know, I know the good Lord done told us in His holy Word that yuh cayn’t argue with a fool, but if’n they would jist sit down, an’ take a few swallers of good strong coffee, maybe there’s still a chance for them to straighten out.  The good Lord knows that the stuff they’re a-drinkin’–cinos, latte, and the like–ain’t goin’ to do them no good.  Jist water down the flavor of good, strong, black coffee.  Why I’d might even consider lettin’ them take a dab of sugar or honey to stir in.
    Why’s the shotgun out?  Well, Pard, I’m jist fixin’ to be ready.  With stupidity and foolishness on the rise, I don’t want to be searchin’ for it should the need arise.  Folks out there don’t realize, in fact, I’ll tell yuh the straight truth, they don’t even want to hear, that the real problem lies within each person’s heart–that problem is sin.  But tell a fool that and they’ll jist mock yuh.  Sometimes I’d like to slap them silly, but some are beyond that.  Then I get to thinkin’, my mercy, they are playin’ with their eternal souls and don’t care a lick about it.
    I’ve gone on too long, but my mercy, we drank that whole pot.  Told yuh it was good stuff.  Wait a minute.  Are yuh foolin’ with me?  There’s some hair missin’ from the top of yur hand.  
    Yuh be travelin’ light, be alert like the Holy Writ commands, and check yur cinch if’n yur goin’ to be ridin’.
                             Vaya con Dios. 

He poured a cup of coffee from the pot that sat on the stove.  It was strong and scalding, but it tasted good.”
               –Louis L’Amour  (Conagher)

Come on in, Pard.  Graylight’s here, I thought about jist layin’ in bed and not get yuh coffee this mornin’, but jist couldn’t do it.  With all the stupidity and absurdity that’s a-goin’ on I made it extra strong.  My gizzard and liver need soothin’ with all the mindless hatred that is happenin’. 
     One female form had the gall to say that she had a right to protest.  Well, the Constitution does give the right to peaceful assembly, and freedom of speech, but nowhere does it say that people have the right to destroy the property of others.  That the lives of those who are working out there to protect us are to be targets.  If she believes that she is deluded.  Hmmm, come to think of it, the Lord does say that He will bring a strong delusion.  Lootin’, beatin’ others, causin’ mayhem, that isn’t protestin’, that’s riotin’ and insurrection.  They say it is in the name of “race.”  Well, that the foulest baloney that I’ve ever heard, for all it is doin’ is bringin’ about more racism.  Unity–ha!–division.  One more thing, Pard, an’ I’ll stop an’ have my coffee with yuh.  I’m a-thinkin’ there is more to this behind the scenes.  An acquaintance of mine has called it “orchestrated anarchy.”  That’s a good way of puttin’ it.  I like to say what my gizzard is feelin’ but I jist don’t have the words.
     Coffee to yur suitin’ this mornin’?  Listen friend, an’ listen tight–the Lord is gettin’ ready for the Father is about to pronounce His return.  Shore hope yur ready for that trumpet.  So many things to be ready for in these days.  One has to know their Bible against the enemy of their soul; one has to carry their weapons if’n they’re attacked while out doin’ the errands of the day, and we must be ready an’ lookin’ up listenin’ for the sound of the trumpet.  Whoooeeee–that’ll be the day!
     Father’s Day is tomorrow.  Wouldn’t it be somethin’ if the heavenly Father said, today is the day?  Go bring my children home.  That day’s a-comin’.  What’s that?  Why shore, Pard, I think the good Lord will sit with us in heaven an’ enjoy a cup of heavenly brew with us.  Don’t yuh be a-frettin’ none about that.  Yuh be safe now, yuh hear!  Guns oiled, yur in yur Bible readin’ it, and I noticed that yuh checked yur cinch before mountin’.  Yu’ll make it.
              Vaya con Dios.