He made his coffee and went into the cold room and found the apple pie.  He brought it out and cut a piece.  It was a perfect ending for a good day.  It was a great pie.  He put it back in the cold room and finished his coffee.”
              –C. J. Petit (Gus)

Pard sit yurself down.  The week shore was a dismal one.  I wanted to make this Saturday, light, fun and carefree, but the ol’ world won’t let me.  My gracious, with all of the bureaucratic shenanigans goin’ on and the hatred that is bein’ spewed out, well, pard, sometimes I wonder just how long the Lord’s gonna wait.
    Suppose yuh heard ’bout that law passed in New York.  There’s gonna be some quiverin’ livers and legs come Judgment Day.  Just what in the world are people thinkin’?  Pard, they’re a-comin’; I’m tellin’ yuh, they’re a-comin’.  Maybe not the bureaucrats with their laws, but them along with the forces of evil.  Things are gonna get badder than they are now.  
    So, in the above quotation I had to throw somethin’ in that might make yuh smile–the thought of an apple pie.  Now, I don’t have one handy right now, and I just finished the blackberry pie, that the wife made, but come tomorrow she is supposed to be fixin’ one up.  The ol’ boy above went to the cold room and found a pie.  Ha, that shore don’t happen ’round here.  Those pies are devoured ‘most as soon as they come out of the oven.  When the Lord passed out talents, He sure gave my gal a super double-portion of pie-making ability; I’m a still lookin’ for mine.  She makes the pies and I brew the coffee; my aren’t we just made for each other!
    Yuh best be prayin’ for yur young’uns as they face the evil that is upon the world.  It’s always been here, but now it’s raisin’ it’s ugly head higher and higher.  All kinds involved, but for shore the media, bureaucrats, and those high-falutin’ snobs called entertainers.  How long will the Lord’s mercy be lastin’?
    Fight the good fight, pard.  Keep the guns oiled and handy; be a prayin’ and gettin’ the Word down deep in yur heart.  Don’t yuh be goin’ out haphazardly, but be alert, and my goodness, be sure an’ check that cinch.

On the way back to the kitchen, he replaced the shotgun on the rack in the hall.  In the kitchen, the coffee was hot and ready on the stove.  He took two blue enamel cups from the shelf on the wall and filled them with the streaming black brew.”
              –C. Wayne Winkle (Frank Bannon–The Fixer)

    I heard yur hoss, so I poured a cup for ya.  Using that Black Gold from Folgers this mornin’, ahhh, sure delightful.  I’m a little picky about my coffee as you know.  I not one of those coffee snobs that can only drink certain types of coffee and in a certain way.  Reckon my biggest complaint is that it’s usually not strong enough.  I like to taste the coffee not just some flavored water.
    Yep, I understand the thinkin’ of the person in the quote.  The shotgun’s handy, and pistol if needed.  There are crazy things now, yuh think, ha, it’s just gettin’ started.  How about that young whippersnapper who thinks that small churches are a problem and that we should “unhitch” from the Old Testament?  Now, he is supposedly more enlightened that we are, at least this ol’ fence post, and it is done in the name of being progressive.  What about the Scripture in the New Testament that states that ALL Scripture is inspired?  Ptui on progressive! That’s heresy.
    Drink it down pard, for I’m just gettin’ started this mornin’.  There’s another one of those progressive hot-shots who says that he don’t think we can be governed by the Constitution; it’s just too old.  Ask him how to fix things, and he just haws around without an answer, but we need to get rid of the Constitution.  He’s just one of those bureaucrats up in Washington.  Then that other jasper who is goin’ to run for President, whose mother says that the defenders of the Alamo were only a bunch of drunks and crooks.  
    Gotta settle down, let me finish this cup, ‘fore I get too riled.  Problem really is that the Old Testament and the Constitution doesn’t fit these progressive folks agenda.  Listen, no matter what, truth is truth!  
    Say, I met with my new publisher.  He seems like one of us ol’ codgers who realize the value of writing a good story and not getting “progressive” with it.  If yuh are looking for my first book, the title has changed to “The Journal of Elias Butler.”
    Yeah, I know, yuh gotta be headin’ on down the road.  Yuh ride easy, now ya hear?  Check that cinch, and keep yur gun oiled and ready.  Sure to be readin’ the Bible, includin’ the Old Testament.

The men moved to the counter and nodded in affirmation as the waitress held up a pot of coffee.  Around here, all the farmers started meals, important conversations, and sometimes even arguments with a stout cup of coffee.”
              –Tracie Peterson (Where My Heart Belongs)

    Coffee’s ready, it’s not even graylight yet so maybe my pard is still in bed.  I knew it; just as soon as I started in without yuh, yuh’d be ridin’ up.  Sit down, I’ve had a few sips and will warm mine up right after I pour yurs.  I was wonderin’ if yuh were gonna make it this mornin’, sure hope that ol’ rheumatize ain’t actin’ up on yuh.  What?  Now it’s the gout.  Well, my goodness pard, yur gettin’ to be a mess.
    I reckon yuh’ve been watchin’ too much of that idiot box spoutin’ out the news.  Sorry, about that slip of tongue for there’s really little news, mostly it’s lies, agendas, and hatred.  But that’s the world we live in.  Sure glad the Lord rides along with us when we head out on the trail.
    Sure do like that Folgers 1850 coffee.  Wonder what they do different from their regular made coffee?  From what I’ve read and heard and researched, Folgers was the first coffee company comin’ out of San Francisco in 1850.  Yuh hear a lot about Arbuckles, but it didn’t start ’til after the Civil War.
    Ahhh, ready for a refill?  Yuh know I firmly believe that the steps of the righteous man is directed by the Lord.  Sure don’t know why He allows somethings along the trail, well, that’s not exactly true, but maybe I don’t understand them is a better word for there are places in the Good Book that shows the “why.”  James 1, is an example.  But, back to my thought, if I don’t get back, it’ll be swimmin’ up there in that gray matter and might drown.  Hmmm, good thing I have some of it written down here.  The Lord directs our steps along the trail.  Well, yesterday I entered into contract with a publishing company for my books.  Kinda of excitin’ for an ol’ codger like me.  Looks, prices, and other such stuff will be a-changin’.  Let me also give yuh a hint, I’m workin’ on one ’bout Tom Franks.  Remember him from Mal de Ojo.  Hopefully it will be out by spring.
    Another pot empty–wonder if we could mark the calendar by the pots of coffee that we’ve drunk together?  Pard, yuh watch out for any hostiles lurkin’ around.  Or wolves either, for they are there ready to pounce, rip and tear yuh apart.  Keep yur gun handy along with yur Bible and yuh should be ready.  But for goodness sakes, don’t forget to check yur cinch.

He had gathered dry wood before the rain started, managing to keep it fairly dry through the night….  He built a fire and made coffee while he tried to keep warm.”
              –Elmer Kelton  (Other Men’s Horses)

Come on in, Pard, an’ throw yur grubby boots under the table.  I’ll let it dry and sweep it up later.  Sure is hard to get a dry day lately, and as soon as we get a couple, here it comes again, rainin’ cats ‘n’ dogs.  Ooop, sorry PETA and those sensitive folk.  
    Pard, how in the world did we ever get so sensitive?  I’ve a notion that it’s all the drinkin’ of cinos and mixin’ coffee with all of those flavors an’ sweet’ners out there.  Whenever yuh begin to compromise and water things down, well, that bring out the sensitivity.  Hmmm, wish some of those folk would take a walk through a poison ivy patch, then we’d really see how sensitive they really are.
    Some things are just beyond my imagination.  ‘Course I know the talk that slings out the mouths of folks is gettin’ worse.  My mercy, even Christians are cussin’ now.  It might do them good to take a bath in the Word; too bad they haven’t had their mouths washed out with soap.  Speakin’ of that, is that Congresswoman goin’ to be censored for her public obscenities?  Terrible–shameful, and there’s no way around that.  And I don’t care if someone gets their feelin’s hurt, there ain’t any reason to say things like that, public or private.
    Sorry, I’m so busy ventin’ that I forgot to fill yur cup up.  Say, just wave it around when it’s empty, or are yuh afraid of hurtin’ my feelin’s?  But as I was sayin’ the ol’ Apostle Paul said that we should rid ourselves of obscene, vulgar, abusive and filthy language (Col 3:8) and here a public official is runnin’ off at the mouth.
    More coffee?  Not apologizing pard, some things just jerk my jaws.  No, not yur coffee cup, the idiots with the foul mouths.  Shows their character and education.
    Best yuh be headin’ on down the trail.  If yuh fall off that horse because yuh didn’t check yur cinch yuh best keep a civil tongue and not blame yur ol’ hoss.