–Nathan Wright  (The Return)

 

Whooeeee, I can understand that.  Pard, yuh don’t have to be a-worryin’ ’bout my coffee.  It’s sure strong enough to delight yur gizzard.  But Pard, honestly, I’ve had some folk say that my coffee was a little on the strong side, they even went to add water to it.  Now, the way I figure it, if’n yur gizzard ain’t stout enough, yuh can always add water, but what does a ‘poke do with weak coffee?

     I remember one time, back a few years, I was in St. Louis.  It was early mornin’ hours and I had a bus layover.  I wandered about the city a spell, but then came back to drink some coffee.  Yuck!  Those old vendin’ machines made some of the worst coffee, but like the ol’ puncher said, the onliest thing worst than bad coffee is no coffee.  I mean some machines and some folk make it so weak, and then yuh add the taste.  Something that’s hard to describe….sorta like someone stirred it with their big toe.  Ptui!

     Pard, yuh remember ol’ Pole Vinski?  I remember the tale he tolt of the ol’ cook on the trail, or maybe it was in the line camp.  Anyhows, he didn’t keep cups around as they was always gettin’ broke, so he kept tomato and peach cans.  There was this fella that came to the camp beggin’ for a cup, but if’n yuh can believe it, he wanted sugar in it.  Ol’ Pole handed him the sugar tin and the guest poured a handful in his cup, then motioned for ol’ Pole to stir it for him.  Yuh talk about gall.  Ol’ Pole, not one to get riled, pulled out his gun and stuck the barrel in the can to stir it.  Ha, the guest got the idea, and slurped that coffee right down.

     Yuh know I had some things to say this mornin’ that came to mind this week ’bout some of the imbecilic things I’ve seen an’ heard, but they’ve done gone an’ slipped through my noggin’.  But I will be tellin’ yuh this since I was talkin’ about coffee that’ll gag yuh, there’s some preachin’ services out there that’ll do the same.  Well, I use that term preachin’ delicately.  Folks want to be waterin’ down the truth just like they do their coffee.  I call it “Cino” preachin’.  Pard, yuh just can’t be followin’ Christ with cino religion, it’s got to be the real thing, strong and pure–undiluted.  Yuh can’t get to those Pearly Gates with cino religion, there’s a price to be payin’ and a cross to be a-carryin’.  

     So take a sip, see if’n it ain’t to yur likin’.  Ahhh, makes yuh want to get up an’ say “Howdy!”  Pard, it’s gonna be a good day, as long as yuh remember to check yur cinch.  Yuh best be on yur way an’ don’t be drinkin’ no watered down, toe-stirred coffee this week.

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –Nathan Wright  (The Trail)

 

Good Saturday mornin’ to yuh, Pard.  Trust yuh had a good week.  Coffee’s on, strong and hot; it’ll tickle yur gizzard plumb right.  Made some of that espresso this mornin’.  Now, Pard, contrary to what folks think, I’m no conusseuer; I just know how I like my coffee.  Why some put on the package, a hint of grape, or lavender, or chocolate.  What I want to know is, does it taste good?  I can’t taste any of those hints.  I came across this coffee ’cause it was on sale and I’ll always try new coffee. Usually not too bad as long as it’s strong enough.  What did the ol’ puncher say, “Life’s too short for bad coffee”?

     Pard, since I’m ponderin’ coffee, I want to be tellin’ yuh that I’ve been ponderin’ a lot this week.  Yesterday I pondered what it must have been like when Jesus was a boy.  I do that quite often.  The good Lord must’ve had a reason to not include much of His young life in the Holy Writ.  Mostly probably, ’cause it has nothin’ to do with His task, His purpose, and our salvation.  Most likely I’ll ponder it some more.

     Just like I’m ponderin’ how yuh can drink that hot coffee so fast.  My mercy, it’ll burns the hair off’n yur tongue.  I reckon yuh done scorched yur throat down to yur gizzard an’ yur holdin’ yur cup out for more.  Pard, sometimes…

     But back to ponderin’.  I’ve pondered a lot of about Genesis, especially the early part.  My eldest daughter sent me a little thought, that caused to stop my slurpin’ and ponder.  Now, I’ve pondered most of this before.  Shem, yuh remember him?  Noah’s son.  Shem would have known Abraham, and I tend to believe that he was the man that Abraham gave honor to–Melchizedek.  Now get this, since Shem was before the flood, he also would have known Methuselah.  Now, go ahead an’ take a swallow, ’cause this is something I haven’t pondered until now.  Methusalah would have known Adam.  I wonder what ol’ Adam told Methuselah?  Think of all that Adam knew.  He walked with God, He talked with God.  He sinned and was tossed out of the Garden.  Did he tell Methuselah what the Garden was like, what the serpent was like, how life changed?  Something for sure to ponder.  But Pard, take it a bit further.  Since Methuselah knew Abraham did he discuss those same things with him?  

     Yuh go ahead and ponder.  Don’t be wrackin’ yur brains over it, but somethin’ interestin’ for sure.  Here’s another thing I ponder.  Why do I always have to be remindin’ yuh to check yur cinch?

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –William MacLeod Raine  (The Sheriff’s Son)

 

     “Get yur hide sanctified, it’s not too late.  Brother get branded, step through the gate…”  Yeehaw, Pard come on and join in now.  “Get yur hide sanctified…”  Oh, yuh need yur tonsils liquefied ‘fore yuh can sing.  What do yuh mean, yuh don’t know that song?  It’s by that ol’ puncher, Wylie from up on that northern range.  Or are yuh one of them that don’t believe in sanctification?  Whew, Pard, that’s a long word, and I’ll tell yuh the truth, it’s a long process.  It takes a person their whole life, and since we don’t believe in that there reincarnation, yuh best be gettin’ on with it.

     Pard, I don’t want to get all theological on yuh this mornin’, but sanctification is one of those almost archaic words in the church, yet it is so vital to our walk with the Lord.  Yep, Pard, coffee’s good, but don’t be changin’ the subject.  When we get that changed heart, are born again, we are sanctified, but then the process begins.  We take up the Lord’s yoke, our cross, and we begin travelin’ the glory road.  We have the Holy Spirit guidin’ and teachin’ us along the way how to be “in Christ” and how to “grow in grace.”

     Yur right, this coffee is good, my ol’ gizzard is doin’ some flips of joy.  But back to what I was a-sayin’, we wear the brand of the Lord now and the enemy, that grim face, evil-eyed one is after us.  We’re safe, ’cause we’re wearin’ the brand of the Lord.  The Holy Spirit has done sealed us, but that don’t mean there’s not a fight.  That’s why yuh have to keep yurself primed, guns loaded and ready for any hostile action by ol’ slewfoot.

     Yuh have trouble with sufferin’, it ain’t the Lord; it’s the devil tryin’ to blot out the brand.  Havin’ toils, and woes, and conniption fits, that’s the ol’ troll tryin’ to steal yur joy, tryin’ to rustle yuh away from the Lord.  Pard, hang tight, he can’t do it…yur safe in the Lord’s herd, that’s why yuh keep on workin’ on bein’ sanctified.  Why Pard, I heard recently of someone I know that purposely was changin’ over to the devil’s herd.  Said life was too hard, too much work and sorrow and sufferin’ and that they didn’t believe in God any more.  My mercy!  Life happens, an’ when the devil throws things on our trail that should drive us closer to the One who keeps us.

     Yuh been listenin’ to me, Pard, or just sittin’ back enjoyin’ that wonderful brew I made.  That’s all right, Pard, I know yur branded by the Lord, it’s just that sometimes yuh don’t use yur noggin’ and check yur cinch ‘fore yuh mount.  That’s just leavin’ an openin’ for that sneaky troll to strike at yuh.  Yuh be primed and ready and doin’ what yuh can.  “Ohhhhh, get yur hide sanctified…”

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –Donald L. Robertson  (Stranger with a Star)

 

Have to be drinkin’ fast, this ol’ fence post has got to be on the road.  Yep, goin’ up to see another couple tie the knot.  So drink it fast, but don’t be a-burnin’ yur lips.  Ahhh, good, I’ll be takin’ what’s left in the pot, well, that is, if’n yuh don’t go guzzlin’ it all up, with me.

     One thing ’bout yuh, Pard, you don’t do any complainin’ lest it’s about my singin’.  Don’t figure that one out either, but least yuh don’t complain ’bout life, work, the weather, or my coffee.  Pard, I’ve seen some run to the sink to water it down, too strong.  Hmpf…

     Speakin’ of whiny babies, my eldest sent a text that showed a whiny baby of the first sort.  Whinin’ that her husband now had to go to work; he couldn’t work from home.  My mercy, she should be thankin’ the good Lord that he has a job.  Whinin’ like that an’ if’n he carries it to work, well, he might just get fired.  She was moaning that she doesn’t get to see him before he leaves.  Mercy, get up, make his coffee, cook him breakfast, then kiss him goodbye an’ send him on his way.  Whiny babies!  Ugh, few things turn the stomach more.  There was more to it along the same lines.  Why aren’t we thankful for what we have?  

     When I worked with the Royal Rangers (for those who don’t know, it’s a boys’ group similar to Boy Scouts) we had a large pacifier made.  The kid who whined had to wear it around the neck until the next boy whined about something.  We also had a rope with a giant knot for those who had been knotty (naughty).  That was rough on the neck.  My classroom pass was a pacifier.  Whiners!  Ugh!  

     Pard, seems to me that too often we are like the children of Israel and want the Lord to just hand everything to us.  The land was theirs for the takin’, but no, they had to murmur and complain–whine.  It’s too hard, they’re like giants, we’re like grasshoppers, why don’t you just smite them Lord.  Goodness, go in and conquer.  No wonder, with all their whinin’ that the Lord got fed up with them.  If they were gonna whine they were gonna do it in the wilderness.

     Hold on, Pard, don’t be drinkin’ that last cup, that’s for muh trip.  Wait, wait, don’t yuh start yur whinin’ on me.  Yuh already had three cups.  An’ yuh weren’t satisfied?  Hmmm, don’t yuh become a whiny baby!  Why Pard, next thing yuh’ll be doin’ will be wantin’ me to check yur cinch for yuh.  So go have a good week, an’ I don’t want to hear ’bout yuh whinin’!

     Vaya con Dios.