He reheated the beans and coffee from dinner. He knew the coffee would be horrible, but he didn’t want to throw it out. After tasting it, he began to second-guess his decision.”
–C.J. Petit (South of Denver)
Mornin’ to yuh, Pard. Don’t yuh be frettin’ none, I wouldn’t offer yuh no day’s old coffee. Nope, mine is directly off’n the stove, hot, strong and ready to swallow. Now, I didn’t bother with listenin’ to no jawin’ and lyin’ the other night. Didn’t figure my gizzard could take it, and no amount of coffee would be able to wash it away.
I’m speakin’ of the State of the Union. I’m sorry Pard, I read where David wouldn’t take a hand against Saul, but this fellow portrayin’ our President just riles up my innards something fierce. Yuh want to talk about the state of the Union, well, come along with me to the grocery. Just let yur eyes gander at the price of a steak. Why a week ago, I posted that the missus and I both had filet mignon for five dollars. Now they couldn’t even sell a piece of gristlely meat for that price. I know, I know, that was a few years back, but even so, Pard, the economy is in poor shape.
It isn’t that it looks bad, unless yuh check yur wallet or glance in yur bank account. It’s goin’ up in every direction. I was just checkin’ my house insurance, up three hundred dollars from last year. I happened to be gettin’ the steel mount some work done on it, and just glimpsed at a set of tires–$1300. Instead of a steel belt, they must have some gold mixed in with it. Sooner or later somethin’ has to bust wide open. Yep, we still have the goods, at least for now, but can we afford it.
That ol’ crooner, Eddy Arnold used to sing, “I don’t have a dime in this old worn out jeans, so I’ll stop eatin’ steak and go back to beans…” That’s not sayin’ that steak is a regular fare for the supper table, but yuh know what I’m a-sayin’. Pard, go ‘head and drink, don’t be lettin’ by jabberin’ cause yur coffee to get cold. That would be like listenin’ to that speech all over again. Speakin’ of that, and that we’re all doin’ well, I heard that there’s a new definition for the “status quo”–that’s you and me, Pard. Today’s meanin’ speaks of the state of the union, the status quo is now defined as “the mess we’re in!”
I keep tellin’ yuh, more and more we best be trustin’ in the Lord. Ain’t no man gonna get us out of this mess. He won’t have us eatin’ no feathers, and if need be He might even send some of that manna down from above. He’ll see us through, don’t yuh be forgettin’ that! Yuh pack yur gun, be wary of yur surroundin’s, stay away from cinos, and check yur cinch, and yu’ll make it through another week–Lord willin’.
Vaya con Dios.