I picked up the cup I had set on the porch and threw the last swallow and dregs off the porch. Taking the cup back inside I set it down on the table next to a candle.”
–D.C. Adkisson (Outlaws of Boulder Canyon)
Glad yuh made it safe this mornin’, Pard. There’s crazies out there on the road. Why, just the other day, I was comin’ down towards Indian Creek on the curvy road and comin’ towards me was one of them lunatic drivers. Yep, right at me, on the bridge, on my side of the road. I pulled up on the ol’ steel mount, an’ I don’t know whether she was sleepin’, textin’, or jist bein’ plain obnoxious, but she saw me and got over jist in time. Yep, Pard, plenty of crazies out there.
Yuh put the crazies out there, along with the fruitcakes and the cupcakes and yuh have yurself a mess. Yep, Pard, I’m a-tellin’ it to yuh straight–a mess. Why Pard, jist the other day I read where the former President of these here United States was urgin’ men to have gay friends. My mercy… He said that men need them as role models for their kids. Pard, that’s an abomination an’ other things too; jist plain sick! Makes me wonder how much longer. Role models!! What ever happened to the Lone Ranger? Guess he rode off and stayed “lone.”
That’s a good enough reason to not be drinkin’ those cinos. Give me some strong, hot, black coffee, no matter the weather. Why, Pard, yuh start waterin’ down yur coffee, addin’ a little of this and a little of that, well, what I’m a-sayin’ is that yuh might start to be waterin’ down yur believin’ as well. Speakin’ of coffee, how’s that taste this mornin’? Good, it’s makes the ol’ gizzard want to start singin’ a song.
There’s enough bein’ said ’bout toxic masculinity. Why, Pard, I remember when men were men an’ women were glad of it. Now, accordin’ to the former President of these United States, he’s wantin’ men to uplift men who wear lace. Listen, Pard, and listen straight–don’t ever forget that every minute of this life we’re in a war. The devil don’t take no vacations from tryin’ to gather in yur souls to his outfit, or break yuh apart wantin’ to make yuh no use to the Lord’s. Ride for the brand of the Lord and keep all yur weapons ready, oiled, and loaded. Yuh never know when yuh might come face to face with one of them spiritual ogres. But then don’t yuh be forgettin’ them little imps that come at yuh from all directions durin’ the day. Pard, the fight don’t ever stop, so yuh can’t ever be lettin’ down yur guard.
“Nough said, this mornin’, ‘sides the coffeepot has done gone dry. I know yuh want to be on yur way ‘fore I ask yuh to wash the pot. Jist throw the dregs in the sink, I’ll take care of it, an’ yuh can be sure yur cup will be clean for our next visit. Yuh be ridin’ tall in the saddle, alert and wary…an’ along with that be sure an’ check yur cinch.
Vaya con Dios.