Cowboys drank too much coffee, sometimes ten cups a day.”
–Zane Grey
Mornin’ to yuh, Pard. No, we ain’t gonna set ourselves down and drink a couple pots of coffee. Though, I can recall a few days of doin’ that. Why one ol’ runnin’ pard back in Colorado used to be a coffee drinker. One night his wife and mine, we all sits ourselves down to play cards. I remember the missus had made several dozen bear-sign, that’s donuts to yuh tenderfeet. We ate donuts, drank coffee, and had a good ol’ time.
Let me pour yuh a cup, not that I don’t be trustin’ yuh with the pot, but I surely don’t want to spill a drop. That’s birthday coffee, real genuine coffee from New Guinea. Hard to get any better than that. Go ahead yuh start yur sippin’ an’ I’ll fill yuh in on some more of the stupidity that is in this country. I tell yuh Pard, yuh don’t want to even take a gander at the news anymore. The hatred, the evil, and my land, all of the stupidity.
Heard that a Walgreens was been attacked by repeated shopliftin’. They put in anti-theft locks to secure merchandise. Guess what–they’re callin’ that racist? Go figure that out if’n yuh can. Now here’s one that beats all. Almost fell out of my chair when I read it. That wicked person who recently tried to kill the President and other officials came up for a hearin’. The judge (small capital j, he doesn’t rate a capital J) apologized to the accused for the “extremely restrictive conditions” inside the jail. My mercy, the man is in jail not the country club. Get this, here are the conditions: “placement in a padded cell under near-constant observation, with limited access to basic privileges such as phone calls, reading materials, and recreation.” Recreation for a would-be assassin??!!
Finish yur cup ‘fore I tell you this one. I don’t want yuh snortin’ out that good brew. Dinesh D’Souza wrote this from the former first lady. Hold on, Pard, let me be tellin’ yuh, then I’ll get yuh another cup of coffee. “Let me explain something to white people. Our hair comes out of our head naturally in a curly pattern. So when we’re straightening it to follow your beauty standards, we are trapped by the straightness. That’s why many of us can’t swim.” ???? If’n she really said that…..my, my we’re in trouble. No logic, no sense in it at all. What was it we read in the Psalms? “Some became fools through their rebellious ways.”(107:17) Fools, that ain’t the half of it.
Well, Pard, we didn’t drink ourselves ten cups, but we almost finished a pot. I make sure it’s gone by the end of the day. Watch yur talk, be wary of yur walk, don’t be hangin’ out with fools, and for sure be a-checkin’ yur cinch.
Vaya con Dios.