–J.V. James  (The Oldest Trick in the Book)

 

Come in here, Pard.  Let yur tongue drool whist I pour yuh some coffee.  Don’t be a-frettin’ none, I ain’t gonna serve yuh no bad coffee.  Nosiree, I don’t believe in such a thing.  There’s plenty in life that I surely don’t understand, an’ one of them is those folk that drink bad coffee.  Fru-fru, cino stuff, that ain’t no good fer man nor beast.  Whist I’ll bet an ol’ sow would turn her nose up at some of those things folks are a-drinkin’.

     Yur lookin’ fine this mornin’, Pard.  Britches are fairly clean, boots been wiped off, yep yuh look purdee nifty.  Pard, that’s another thing I don’t be understandin’ at all.  Yuh tell me why folks think it’s somethin’ nifty to be wearin’ britches with holes in them.  I kid all the time with the younguns about that.  I offer them a couple of dollars to help towards another pair of pants, or I’ll ask how much they paid for their pants and tell them they were cheated since they have so much material missin’.

     Why Pard, back when I was a youngster, I would play on my knees until I wore a hole through my jeans.  Grandma would then put on a patch and I can remember several times of wearin’ a hole in that there patch.  She didn’t want me out with holes in my pants.  Why if’n she was livin’ today, it would save her some time and effort not to be fixin’ up my pants.  

     Pard, I jist don’t rightly understand the thinkin’ of some folks.  Yuh take them crooks, them sidewinders who sneak into this country to commit atrocities and practice their brand of wickedness.  I don’t understand why folks want to allow them to stay.  Why not send them back where’s they came from?  In fact, some of them need to be sent on down to perdition as they’re a-headin’ that way anyhows.

     Go ‘head, don’t be mindin’ me, drink that sweet nectar I made yuh.  Nothin’ wrong with it, no sireee, that’s good coffee.  I done made it my ownself.  But here’s one other thing, Pard.  Since folks are so rarin’ to have weak coffee, or holey clothes, I hope they don’t have any holes in their doctrine.  Pard, they’re’s a bunch of people spoutin’ off weak or wrong teachin’ ’bout the Lord.  We can’t afford to be goin’ out in hostile country without knowin’ what we’re believin’.  Jist like yuh can’t be ridin’ out without checkin’ yur cinch; it jist ain’t safe, nor practical, nor God-fearin’.   No, Pard, we got to have sound doctrine in our hearts, jist like yuh need strong coffee fer yur innards.

     There, Pard, I’ve said my mind.  Time for one more cup, an’ I’ll tell yuh a secret.  Later today, the missus is makin’ a pie an’ I’m already a-hankerin’ for a piece ‘long with another cup of good coffee.  Yuh be havin’ a good week, now!

        Vaya con Dios.

                    –Cotton Smith

 

     Greetin’s to yuh, Pard.  Coffee’s hot and strong, come an’ grab a cup.  Don’t yuh be bashful!  Trust yuh had a good week, no matter what though, it’s past.  Might be some consequences left over, but they’ll pass.  The thing is Pard, to face the day, and prepare for the future.  ‘Course we know that day might not show up, but we need to be ready if it does.  Same’s true ’bout the comin’ of the Lord.  It’s gonna happen, it might not be today, but we have our heart ready in case He comes tomorrow.

     Yuh know, seasons come and go, not only the seasons of nature, but of life and even in the short term.  Last night the middle granddaughter moved from the season of high school to the big adult world and the world of college.  Big change, but it is part of life.  Oh, not necessarily the college part, but the season of movin’ on with life after high school.  Boy howdy, I can remember that time.  I was ready to get on with the summer for baseball and then on to college.  I was raised right, and was ready to prove myself to the world.  It was time for me to be gettin’ on.  Long story short, I made it through–could have done better, but I made it.  Then on to the military, which I enjoyed.

     By the time I was headin’ for my Masters, I had my habits and routine down, and really enjoyed that work.  Yep, seasons come and go.  What’s that yuh say?  I’m in the season where I’m ridin’ my rockin’ chair now.  Pard, yuh best be careful or I’ll cut yur coffee rations.  Now, I’ll tell yuh the truth.  When I get up in the mornin’ to do my readin’ and studyin’ I sit in my rocker, drinkin’ coffee, lookin’ at the sun shine through the trees.  I’m not about to be thrown by that chair, but sometimes the readin’ stumps me or at least causes me to contemplate.

     Quit yur grinnin’.  But what I’m tellin’ yuh is that seasons come, and they go.  However, and get this Pard, get it good–the Lord is with us in all seasons of life, all seasons of change along the journey.  Our job is to be listenin’ to Him and obeyin’ His Word.  If’n we do that we’ll have a better time gettin’ through the obstacles on the trail and facin’ those fiery darts of the enemy.

     One thing I’ve noticed through the years of our partakin’ of coffee together.  No matter the day, the hour, or the season, I keep havin’ to reminding yuh to check yur cinch.  One of these days…   Well, we’ll leave it at that.

     Vaya con Dios.

                    –Louis L’Amour  (Radigan)

 

Howdy, Pard, glad yuh came by.  Sure, sure, the coffee’s hot and on the stove.  More of that coffee from over in New Guinea.  My it sure does satisfy the gizzard.  Pard, some things yuh just can trust.  The coffee’ll be on, if’n yuh went to my house Grandma always had the coffee on.  Funny, she didn’t drink the stuff, but she always had it in case some dignitary would show up.  Pard, it’s called Christian hospitality.  Granny, Annie’s Mom, always had soup ready for us when we came for a visit to her home.  Could depend on it, trust that it would be so.

     Pard, speaking of trust, well, it’s a wonderful thing.  I talked to ol’ Billy Basher the other day and found out why he had so many problems.  He didn’t trust no one.  What a way to go through life.  He tolt me that when he was a kid he climbed up in a tree, kinda like lit’le Zacchaeus, maybe it was a sycamore tree, but anyhow, he couldn’t get down.  He yelled and yelped and finally his Pa showed up.  He tolt young Billy to jump so that he would catch him.  Finally, after several minutes of coaxin’ Billy jumped towards his Pa’s outstretched arms.  The thing is, Pard, an’ it sorta riles me, just as Billy was goin’ to land, unscathed in those rescuin’ arms, his Pa jerked them away.  Ol’ Billy went splat, right there on the ground, groanin’ an’ a moanin’.  Didn’t break nothin, but his ol’ noggin’ took a lump.  His Pa looked down at him, pointed one of his long bony fingers and said, “Kid, that is a lesson yuh need to learn.  Don’t be trustin’ no one in this life!”

     Well, since then, ol’ Billy’s had some problems.  Imagine, goin’ through life, not even bein’ able to trust yur Dad.  Why it’s just natural for a youngster to reach out to his Mom or Dad in the midst of a terrible storm or other such ordeal.  When a perplexin’ problem comes our way, we can sure trust the Lord, that’s a solemn fact.  He won’t be pullin’ no arms away, but will catch us when we jump or if’n we fall–and that’s another solemn fact.  Pard, what would life be like if’n we couldn’t be trustin’ in the Lord?  It’s be worse that not havin’ coffee ready for yuh, an’ that’s a solemn fact.

     Pard, as we go our separate ways, yuh can be sure that the Lord will catch yuh if’n yuh forget to check yur cinch, or at least pick yuh up and doctor yuh some.  Yep, Pard, it’s good to be travelin’ through life with a Pard like the Lord there beside us–an’ that’s a solemn fact!

       Vaya con Dios.

                    –Louis L’Amour  (Borden Chantry)

 

Good mornin’ to yuh, Pard.  My, my what a pretty mornin’ an’ yuh look all chipper this mornin’.  Pie?  None around this house, has been, might be some more later.  There is a mini-pie in the freezer, apricot, but it wouldn’t come close to satisfyin’ yur tonsils.  I will tell yuh that I had an apple pie instead of cake for my birthday, along with a chocolate pie.  It sure made the ol’ gizzard happy, with plenty of coffee to help it settle.  

     Sure had loads of thoughts flittin’ through my ol’ noggin this past week an’ reckon they all done flitted out my ears or somethin’.  Sure can’t think of them now.  Pard, goin’ to have to start writin’ them down, but usually they come to me while I’m ridin’ or tryin’ to sleep.  Say, how’s that coffee?  One of my presents from the wife from New Guinea.  Sure does hit the spot.

     Speakin’ of the wife, I recall the words of that ol’ puncher from the Wild Horse Desert, Bobby Cavazos.  He sure hit Annie right on the spot, “She’s a remarkable woman like my grandmother. They’re made of something that no modern woman has—steel.”  Too many women out there today do more than the thoughts in my brain, they flit from one place to another, wantin’ this an’ that.  My gal, knows how to make a good life for her family.  She can keep a smile on my face.  Apple pie, why sure ‘nough, there’s none to compare to hers!

     What!  I don’t smile.  Why, Pard, I’m smilin’ all the time.  Just look into the eyes an’ if’n yuh can’t see a smile yur blind.  Plus the wife and the Lord puts the joy down in my heart and soul.  Listen, if’n I’m anything in this life it’s ’cause of the two of them workin’ on me.  The Lord sure fixed me up right when he allowed me to rope that gal!  She makes sure my cinch is tight.

     So, Pard, if’n yuh have a mind to, wear a white carnation tomorrow.  That is if’n yuh happen to have one.  My Mom and the rest of those who helped raised me are gone on up to be with the Lord, but I’ll sure be flittin’ several memories of them through my mind.  Yuh be havin’ a wonderful day and week.

      Vaya con Dios.