He rose fluidly to his feet, slapping his emptied cup against his thigh to knock loose the coffee grounds that had settled inside.”
–Wayne D. Dundee (Rainrock Reckoning)
Heard yuh comin’, Pard. Coffee’s hot and strong for yuh this mornin’. How ’bout this weather? Remember how hot and dry it was last summer? Whooee, then a week or so ago it was freezin’ and now the past week the rains came, and came, and came. So Pard, I hope yuh stayed dry. The missus and I was a-talkin’ and I said something ’bout it rainin’ cats and dogs, to which she replied it was more like elephants and hippopotamuseses.
Pard, after yuh finish that swallow, I’ve something to tell yuh. I’m finishin’ up my latest book and went to the publishin’ area and they’ve added a new question. Did AI help you on the book? I was a-wonderin’ what a steak sauce had to do with the writin’ of my book. Then I was told that it wasn’t a steak sauce it was artificial intelligence. Now, that didn’t help me much, ’cause I knew for sure that none of those liberal politicians helped me none, nor any of them loose-lipped folk out there that hasn’t a clue what real life is all about. Come to find out, Pard, that this is the newest thing. Artificial Intelligence (AI) is doin’ all sorts of things from singin’ to writin’ to influencin’ and all sorts of other things–sorta like a new-fangled type of hoo-doo.
Good thing I made the coffee strong. Common sense has done been done away with for the most part, and now they’re a-comin’ up with artificial sense. Well, I guess that makes sense since none of those folks have any sense only follow whatever suits them. I’m a-thinkin’ they live in a maze, sorta like walkin’ with Alice in the “Wonderland.” But they think, I use that term loosely, they know it all. They tell us they are more enlightened. Ptui! Seems to me they’re a gropin’ down in the mudhole.
Go ahead, Pard, take a long drink, for what I’ve to tell yuh next will surely get yur gizzard up tight. I was sittin’ in the doctor’s office, jist a-waitin’ for the vampire to get me to draw blood, when on that there television came the notice. Hold on, now — the Church of England has a transgender servin’ as a bishop. Listen, Pard, we’re livin’ in a strange, evil age, let me tell yuh. I wanted to be sure so I looked it up and sure ‘nough. She/he/it said, “Queer people are a blessing to the Church. When I’m wearing my collar, it lets children know that is okay.” The use that term “nonbinary” which means someone who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman. Pard, we’re livin’ in a mixed up, confused world, an’ you and I know who’s the author of confusion.
However, let me tell yuh, I read of some common sense. Those furries, yuh know who/what they are? In Oklahoma if a student identifies as a furry and they’s a-causin’ a problem in school, animal control is sent for. Now, that’s usin’ yur brain. See, Pard, why I made the coffee so strong this mornin’? Such goin’s on is all around us. Yuh best be in God’s holy script more and more and be tellin’ your kids and grandkids the right way to go. Pard, why some of these folks act more looney than you do when yuh fall on yur head ’cause yuh didn’t check yur cinch. Be travelin’ easy and straight–the devil is out to deceive yuh. That’s why I always sign off…”go with God.”
Vaya con Dios.